Dale Watson hole in one!

Dale Watson struck gold on Wednesday, recording the first hole in one in several years.  Dale aced the 185 yard par 3 fifth hole and received the $1616 pot for his efforts. 

Everything else that happened on Mens' Night takes a back seat to Mr. Watson's efforts...so this week's blog is all about him.

Congratulations Dale!

British Open pool winners

The British Open pool has wrapped up.  Congratulations to the prize winners:

$140   Wes Arnfinson
$40     Chris Kimpinski
$20     Ken Stewart

British Open pool – final standings:

Team points are shown on the link to the left.

1. Wes Arnfinson 307
2. Chris Kimpinski 285
3. Ken Stewart 281
4. Dallas Malchuk 268
5. Jamie McCutchins 250
6. Luke Funk 236
7. Scott Maynes 226
8. Darren Ostash 223
9. Brad Benton 215
10. Brodie MacEachern 205
11. Daddy Derhak 204
12. Rob Kimpinski 197
13. Mike Susinski 193
14. Stephen David 192
15. Brayden Stewart 192
16. Ron Susinski 182
17. Peter Ostash 180
18. John Derhak 140
19. Jason Hunter 137
20. Hubey 133

Horse Race on Saturday

Our Horse Race tournament is this Saturday.  Information is found in the links section to the right.

Previously I mentioned an incorrect number for the limit of entrants.  We are accepting 72 golfers...and right now we are over 40.

Contact Scott Maynes at 365-6458 to enter.

Don't blame the greens

Forty three golfers enjoyed what is becoming somewhat routine...beautiful weather for mens' night. I write this on a sunny afternoon in which I am looking forward to nine and dine tonight.

Incredibly, there were some who complained about the conditions, saying it was either "too hot" or "too humid". A few even lamented the green speed on a day in which the course had a trial run with a green roller. Let's be realistic. The biggest variable causing variations in scoring and trouble with ball striking is the beer cart. When it comes around, we feel happier...but that joy usually fades after the deteriorating motor skills impact our play. Green speed has less effect than drinking speed...although if both are fast you might be really screwed.

Skins went on four holes on Wednesday. Winners included the father /son combination of Blake and Theoren Hunter ($64 on #2), Devin Allen and Pete Ostash ($64 on #7), Wes Arfinson and Devin Stewart ($64 on #8), and Dave Gill and Stephen David ($159 on #9). That last skin was the largest in recent memory.

Pete was low man of the week carding a 36. Closest to the pins were recorded by Mike Susinski on #5 and Blake Cramer on #9. Like the Hunters, the members of this trio are all related.

After 5 deuces last week, there were none on Wednesday. That will likely put our next deuce pot just under $200.

The British Open draft was popular this year with 20 entrants. Payouts will be $140 for first, $40 for second, and $20 for third. Teams are posted on the links section on the left side of this page. Final results will be available Sunday evening.

I hope to see you all next week, both at Mens' Night and the Horse Race.  Speaking of the horse race, we are no up to about 40 entrants with a cap of 72.  Contact Scott Maynes if you have yet to enter.  For those involved, you will get to try your game against the winner of this year's Grey Owl tournament in Clear Lake, Jay Thiessen.

Blue skies, red tees, and pink shirts

It was a tough night to golf, especially if you didn’t like warm weather with minimal breeze.  For those who liked nice weather, it was the perfect evening. 

Despite the excellent conditions, or perhaps because of them, there were lots of pushes and only two skins won. Theoren Hunter and Jason Hunter cashed in for $42.50 on #1 while Scott Maynes and Dick Edgeworth won the same amount on #4. 

Five deuces were recorded. Congratulations to Brad Benton, Wes Arnfinson, Ron Susinksi, Cody McLaughlin, and me for our collective efforts and good fortune.  As is customary when there are over four winners, or when Milt is one of the winners, the prize of $64.50 was donated back to fatten up the pot even more for next week.  That should make it about $130 if recent attendance continues.

Tom Gibson recorded his third closest to the pin of the year on #5. Meanwhile, Brad Benton was tight on #9 after hitting the stick from the tee and almost holing it. 

A few new rules were implemented last night.  Effective immediately, if you are over 90 you may play from the red tees on 3 and 4 during mens’ night.  Those players 90 and under must use the whites. This rule passed with overwhelming consensus.  A second rule which stated that golfers only get two pieces of garlic toast passed but was received with less enthusiasm.  A third motion was made to ban pink shirts on Mens’ Night.  Unfortunately, this motion was defeated.

Forty-three golfers this week wasn’t bad…although we have yet to hit fifty this year. Let’s make 50 our goal for next week. Tell your friends, neighbours, and relatives. Email them, instant message them, post to their Facebook walls, or drive your tractor over by their tractor to talk to them.  Let's make 50 a reality. If we get past that number, we will do two random draws for additional prizes.

A reminder that the Horse Race tournament is fast approaching.  Check out the details on the links section to the left or talk to Scott Maynes to register.

Father's Last Golf Drive

Robert Kimpinski has been recently diagnosed with late stage 4 prostate cancer. His son Robin has organized a cool fundraising campaign in his dad’s honour.

The proceeds from the fundraiser will be used to support the local community owned golf course which Mr. Kimpinski helped to build.

More information is available at:
     http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/133808

Independence Day

This week we golfed on the same day as our American neighbours celebrated July 4th.  If you think about it, golf is all about independence. One person decides what club to hit, one person hits the ball, and one person tracks their own score. Most of what happens on the golf course is up to you...and the pleasure or pain that golf induces is generally a personal experience. 

In a way, Mens’ Night is kind of like our version of Independence Day. We will start with the most basic analogy…of how Mens’ Night is sort of a weekly independence for the golfers from work and home. We had our own version of fire works, when two groups on adjacent holes fought over the beer cart girl. Like July 4^th celebrations, we had barbecues, with people overindulging in food and drink.

Like our jingoistic cousins, our finest red, white, and blue colours were on display on Wednesday. There were guys who were red with embarrassment from some of their wayward shots.  One of those guys was Robin, who after hitting two or three balls into the bush on #1, sculled another shot and threw his wedge into the trees. There were others who felt blue after their round, such as myself when I saw that my partner and I had no combined pars on our scorecards. And there was a bunch of aging white guys….which made me realize we need some more diversity in our group.

There was ceremony. In fact, like the American Independence Day, our founding fathers figured prominently, with two of our senior members doing very well. Hubey and Clayton Hunter tag teamed to capture the elusive skin on #5 which was worth an incredible $161. Hubey also got closest to the pin and a deuce on #5…a feat matched by Wes Arnfinson on #9. The boys shared the $105 deuce pot for their efforts.

Our American friends look at the melting pot of cultures as a symbol of their independence. Mens’ Night is no different. Two immigrants (out-of-towners) worked together for the only other skin of the night, getting $21 for their efforts on #6. Congratulations to Phil Ostash and John McMillan. It is worth noting that like the American experience, golfing immigrants get paid less than people that were born and bread there.

Like life...golf goes on...

Much to my surprise, mens’ night and graduation night not only can coexist; they can actually both flourish at the same time. You may recall a few weeks ago when we discussed whether or not to switch the golf given the commitments of many to attend grad. Thanks to the wisdom of Keith Martin, we didn’t change it.  And last night grad was extremely well attended and there were almost 30 guys at Mens’ Night.

While I was one of the grad attendees, I didn’t mind given a bunch of the other regulars were in attendance. Wes and Blake were beaming as their kids completed their high school education. Brad Benton was all dolled up in a suit and tie and hair gel.  I almost didn’t recognize him without the ball cap. Even Robin didn’t seem to mind being there instead of the golf course. Our young golfers like Devin Allen and Theoren Hunter appeared to enjoy grad as well, both picking up a couple of high school awards before sitting back to acknowledge their respective brother’s rite of passage. And then there was poor Neuf, who didn’t go to either. He had to work at the hotel because all of his work colleagues wanted the night off to attend the school ceremony. Good job Neuf!

In terms of the golf, 28 guys enjoyed a relatively nice but windy evening. Among their ranks were two who made their first appearances of the year, Dallas Malchuk and Tom Gilson. The low round of the night was a 41 carded by both Dale Newton and Ron Susinski.

Skins went on five holes, including #! (Tom Gibson / Jason Gorrell - $20), #2 (Ken Ostash / Carey Findlay - $20), #4 (Joel Ostash / Bob Moffatt - $20), #6 (Dale Martin / Cubby $20), and #7 (Dallas Malchuk / Sport - $73). Thankfully for those of us who were away, the two big skins on the par 3’s remained intact. The fifth hole should be worth around $150 next week while the ninth should be in the $115 range. Also, we have over $2500 in the hole-in-one pots.

The previously mentioned Tom Gibson was dialed in, recording closest to the pin on both #5 and #9.  Thanks to our hole sponsors Shoal Lake Hotel and Susinski Farms / Kimp Services.

Of the 10 people who won skins, an incredible eight of them were first time winners. This year, 44 people have won cash. The top earners of the year to date are shown below.  Check out the prize winner link to the left to see how much cash each has brought home.
1. Brad Benton  
2. Blake Cramer
3. Robin Kimpinski
4. Scott Maynes
4. Stephen David

Thanks to Luke Funk for taking care of things while we were away. And thanks to everyone who golfed for honouring the request not to win the big skins on the two par 3’s.

Fuel efficiency, good husbandry, and rainbows

Recent studies found average golfers travel 900 miles a year. Another study found golfers drink 22 gallons of alcohol a year. This means, on average, golfers get 41 miles to the gallon.

The study actually stated that golfers “walk” 900 miles per year. Not many people walk at our course…and almost no one walks on Mens’ Night. This isn’t because of laziness; it is because of caring, efficiency, and safety. All us Mens’ Night guys need to be on call in case our work or our wives need us. If they phone we need to be able to abandon golf in an instant and rush to our vehicles to get home quickly. Also, we need to ensure that Mens’ Night is finished before night fall, so driving ensures that is the case. This has the added benefit of getting us home to our significant others earlier. Finally, there is the safety factor. Last night, for example, some of us were playing when a couple of powerful sun showers hit. Had we stayed exposed on the greens and tee boxes we risked serious health issues such as wetting of thinning hair and pruning of fingers. Luckily, we had the roofs of our golf carts to provide us with shelter.

The forty golfers who showed up enjoyed a mostly sunny and clear evening, with the exception of the previously mentioned burst of rain. Plus there was a double rainbow which provided a calming backdrop as I finished with double on my final hole.

Skins went on four holes including those won by Keith Martin / Robin Kimpinski ($20 on #1), Chris Kimpinski / Dale Newton ($20 on #4), Stephen David/Cody Cornwall ($59 on #6), and Tyler Martin / Kevin Headland ($59 on #8). The deuce pot of $60 was split by Jamie McCutchins and Devin Allen.

Jamie was closest on #5 while Ken Stewart won the honour on #9. Thanks to our hole sponsors Shoal Lake Motor Inn and Susinski Farms / Kimp Services.

In other news, there was no other news. No one told me anything, although Benton was wired early on about something that happened...but then he forgot to fill me in with the details. Maybe it was the story he told us later about how Robin is so awesome and how Robin is the greatest user of computers and technology ever.

My group was relatively quiet. The most exciting thing we dealt with was Wes’ new haircut, which apparently included Milt gel (insert your own joke here). We were so dull that even Gorrell stopped hitting the big slices and went straight...and he hasn't been straight since '97.  Neuf was quiet and almost went the whole night without raising his club while uttering profanities toward the heavens. Scott Maynes complained on every hole regarding how poor he was golfing but ended up taking eight pars and one bogey for a horrible round of 37. I recommend that we all buy him a drink next time he is out, and see how he does on Mens’ Night with a slightly fuller tank. His score will likely go up but I bet that he has more fun.

Mr. Maynes did ask me to remind you about the Fundraising Tournament on July 6th as well as the Horse Race Tourney on July 28th.  Contact him for further information or to register.

As you know, many of us will be away at Shoal Lake grad next week. I ask only that you have fun, play your best, and stay away from the skins on #5 and 9.

US Open draft

US Open pool picks are in the links section on the left side of this page.

1.     411  Darren Ostash
2.     390  Stephen David
3.     372  Robin Kimpinski
4.     357  Chris Kimpinski 
5.     346  Mike Susinski      
6.     331  Jason Hunter          
7.     319  Ken Stewart           
8.     290  Jason Neufeld        
9.     287  Austin Hunter        
9.     287  Brad Benton       
9.     287  John Derhak     
12.   278  Wes Arnfinson  
13.   251  Darcy Kowalchuk
14.   228  Kevin Bartram   
14.   228  Ron S. / Doug K.  
16.   219  Luke Funk

What are the chances...?

Thirty-five golfers took their chances with some ominous looking clouds...and got in nine holes as rain and lightening seemed to hit everywhere in Shoal Lake except for the golf course. There was a scary moment when I was teeing off on the third hole and heard the ambulance. I thought for sure someone had been struck by lightning.

Most golfers like numbers and statistics so here are some interesting ones for consideration.  The odds of getting a hole in one are approximately 12 500 to 1 for an amateur...and around 7 500 to 1 for a professional golfer. The odds of being struck by lightning are closer to 600 000 to 1. So, as an amateur, you are 50 times more likely to score an ace then being hit by a bolt from the sky.

Before you get too excited about the hole in one odds, 12 500 to 1 is similar to your chances of winning an academy award for acting.  It is actually more likely that you will be fatally injured from a slip in a shower or bathtub (3500 to 1) then going from tee to cup in one shot. Hole in ones are random.  Sure the better you play the better your chances. But there are hackers who have holes in one while some PGA pros are still awaiting their first.

In terms of local odds, your chances of winning a skin last week were approximately 6 to 1. That was because six guys out of 35 made cash. They included Ken Stewart and Clayton Hunter ($20 on #1), Brad Benton and Dick Edgeworth ($39 on #2), and Blake Cramer and Jason Hunter ($121 on # 4).  The big prize for the last pairing was the largest single skin this year. If we use the skin winners as our sample, the odds of someone over 50 winning a skin compared to someone under 50 were 2 to 1.  All of the first four winners qualify as senior golfers.  In other evening odds, it appeared you had approximately a 12 to 1 chance of getting a deuce.  We had three (Brad, Austin, Ken).

Closest to the pins were recorded by Austin Hunter on #5 and Joel Ostash on #9.  Thanks to our prize sponsors - Murray Farm Supply and Kim Services / Susinski Farms.

There were a couple of important decisions made by the mens' night which are worth noting.  Firstly, the 7:00 pm experiment is over after one week.  We will be going back to 6:30 pm tee-off times this Wednesday. Secondly, golf will continue on the regular night on June 27th despite Shoal Lake grad the same evening. Thanks in advance for Luke and Neuf who will run things then.

One more comment about lightning. In North America, about 5% of deaths due to lightning strikes occur on golf courses. Remember always to make safety a priority. If you must golf in inclement weather, play with someone taller.

7:00 pm next week

You know I don't have alot to write about when the title references something happening next week.  We will push the start time back to 7:00 pm starting June 13th to accomodate the guys who work later and those guys who want to golf until it is dark. 

Forty three golfers enjoyed reasonable conditions on a relatively warm but somewhat windy evening. Starting off it appeared that it would be a night of great scoring.  Unfortunately, that was not the case for many.

There were three good skins that went on Wednesday including #1 (Joel and Hubey $43.50), # 3 (Stephen and Butch $88.50) and #5 (Dave Gill and Scott Maynes $88.5).  Looking ahead to next week, that means six skins with some nice cash attached, including #5 which will likely be about $125.

If cash prizes appeal to you, the hole in one prizes are sizable as well...at $1616 and $792.  Just to clarify, any hole in ones on any hole (including par 4's) claim the first prize.  If by some stroke of good fortune, there is multiple hole in ones on the same evening, you split it like the deuce pot.  The intent of the $792 is to have another reasonable pot ready to replace the first one should it fall.

The low score of the evening was Wes Arnfinson, whose 39 won on a countback against Mike McLennan's similar score.  They were the only two sub 40 rounds of the evening.  Wes said it was the first time he was ever the low guy.  Meanwhile, Brad and Robin rolled their eyes while glaring at him. On the other end of the scale, there were some 60's as well.  Out of respect for those golfers and their families, names are being withheld.

Wes also had closest to the pin on #9 and Dick Edgeworth hit it tight on #5.  Only Dick was able to successfully convert the birdie.  He split the $64.50 deuce pot with Cody Cornwall.

Looking ahead to the future, there are a couple of things worth noting.  Next week is the US Open, so we will have a draft for anyone that is interested.  It will be one of those in which you select one golfer in each box for a $10 entry fee.  Also, Shoal Lake grad is Wednesday, June 27th and many of us will be involved or attending.  We will propose a different night for that week...and we will chat about it on June 13th.

Until next week, may all your putts be true, and may all of your found balls be Robin's mishit Pro V1's.

The Night of the Neuf

A former NBA player by the name of Alvin Attles tells a story of the time that he and Wilt Chamberlain combined to score 117 points in one NBA game.  Wilt scored 100 and Al scored 17. Well, last night Neuf and I combined to shoot 84.  Neuf had a 34 and I had...well...I had the rest.

Neuf and I played together and our games could not have been more juxtaposed.  He was nearly perfect and I was almost perfectly terrible.  He targeted pins with uncanny precision while I targeted trees after unmanly decisions.  Neuf got four birdies and I had four triples.  He could not miss a putt while I struggled not to three putt.   The guys playing with us looked at Neuf with envy and awe.  Meanwhile, they averted their gaze as I was about to strike the ball in fear of catching whatever I had. Our games even ended with completely opposite emotions.  Neuf cursed aloud after missing a three foot birdie on nine while I breathed a sigh of relief to finish the same hole with a par.

I guess if it is any consolation, my four triples were honest and not Mens' Night maxes.  Like any golfer, I need at least one positive take-away.  My other take away is that karma sucks.  After a few references in previous blogs to Blake Hunter's struggle to break the 50 mark, I carded that same score.  Congratulations to Blake for going under this week.  Perfect timing by the way.

The interesting thing was the conditions were absolutely perfect.  Warm and sunny with almost no trace of wind.  Birdies abounded and many of the 44 golfers carded season low scores.  Personally, I don't think good weather works for me.  My two rounds near forty occurred during our sub zero rounds earlier this year.

Skins went on four holes, including #2 (Brad Swereda and Blake Hunter - $57), #6 (Brad Benton and Joel Ostash - $67), #7 (Luke Funk and Wayne Chegwin - $22), and #8 (Brad and Blake again for $57).  The $66 deuce pot was split by Wes Arnfinson and Gab Huberdeau.

Milt was closest to the pin on #5, winning a golf shirt from Manitoba Hydro for his effort.  The mighty Neuf won a free steak from Susinski Farms and Kimp Services for sticking it close on #9.

Other low scores included Brad with 35, Milt and Wes with 38, Ron Susinski, Scott Maynes and Dale Martin with 39. Also noteworthy was Luke Funk's three birdie in a row streak on holes 6, 7, and 8.  Good job Mr. Funk.

By the way, sorry to my cart partner Darcy for ending up being my scoring partner.  You had a nice 41 in any case. For what it is worth, there were 11 guys with scores of 50 or worse.  Somehow, that doesn't make me feel any better about my round.

Deuce, deuce, deuce...

In case you didn't notice, I wasn't at Mens' Night this week.  I was at a meeting for our school division's transportation review.  Good meeting...over 100 people in attendance.  I am assuming that the guys who golfed didn't know about it.

In the past, when I missed the golf I would fabricate portions of the news portion of the blog.  Given that I often stretch the truth a bit even when I am present, I thought I would try something different.  What follows is the truth...and nothing but the truth...in so much as it is the truth, as reported to me by others.  Like you, I implicitly trust all male golfers, so you may assume everything that was passed on to me is 100% factual.

There were 37 golfers...a new high for our season to date.  The spike in attendance was likely due to many of our farm friends completing their seeding.  The club welcomed some new faces to this year's season, including Ken Stewart, Dale Martin, Gary Kurtz, Dale Newton, Sport, and Terry McTavish.  The newcomers faired quite well, with Mr. McTavish getting closest on #9 and combining with Ron Susinski to pick up a $35.00 skin on the same hole.  Dale Newton won a $35.00 skin on #1 with Mike Susinski, while Sport cashed in for $35.00 on #7 with Mike McLennan.  The other closest to the hole was recorded by Blake Cramer on #5. 

Three guys split the $57 deuce pot including Mr. McTavish, Austin Hunter, and Scottie Maynes who got his 2 on the par 4 second hole.  Scott's two helped him to go down to -3 on the ringer board to tie leader Chris Kimpinski.

There was some low scoring with five guys carding sub 40 rounds, led by Scott Maynes with a 35.  Robin Kimpinski had a 38 and three guys had 39's (Jamie McCutchins, Dale Martin, and Mike McLennan.  It was also a big night for Blake Hunter who posted his first sub 50 round of the year.  I am guessing he will say that he plays better when I am absent.

Hopefully, I will see many of you at the Lions' Club tournament tomorrow.  It may get as high as a balmy 13 Celsius!

By the way, if you are interested in more information regarding the transportation review you may check the Park West School Division website.

Golfers' Eczema...poor skins!

There were no skins won on Wednesday. Zero…nada…zilch.  None of the 33 golfers or 17 two-man teams could put together a low combined score on any of the nine holes.

After no skins prizes were awarded, many of the guys in the room started to jog their respective memories to identify when a similar thing happened. While they could not confirm such an occurrence in the past, they did remember other significant events. A few of the old timers recalled the last time someone at Mens’ Night was mad at John Gill…back in 1978. The last time Brad Benton remembered missing a putt for money…1967, when he was eleven years old. We reflected back to the last time Blake shot under 50 in Mens’ Night. That was October 6, 2011. Chris Kimpinski mentioned the last time Milt didn’t talk after a three putt was 1968…but that was because he was two and still not speaking. Neuf recollected the last time Wes got mad over something that happened in a poker game before throwing his cards down face up in protest before the hand was finished. That was May 16, 2012.

Scottie Maynes told of us the last time Jason Gorrell hit it straight…back in 2005. Yes, Gorrell was bending every shot long before that Bubba Watson guy made it popular. The slice is now so pervasive in Jason’s life, it even affects him away from the golf course. For example, it takes him 10 minutes to walk from Central S to Big Way…because he starts out by walking behind the post office before gradually coming back around.

For a bit more perspective, while no one could recall the last time no skins were won, several of his so-called friends reminded us that the last time Robin Kimpinski had grey hair was 2003. Apparently Robin attended a big insurance brokers convention in Winnipeg and noticed he was the only one showing signs of aging. Since then, he has been using Just For Men Natural Light Brown. He has only used the hair gel the last few years…since he started hanging out with Benton.

With the absence of skins, the only money claimed was the deuce pot. The previously mentioned Benton hit a beauty of number 9 and drained the putt, ending up closest to the hole for the evening in the process. That effort was worth a tidy $79.50. Brad also had the low score of the night, carding a 38. Jamie McCutchins was second best with a 39.

The other closest to the pin was Neuf’s on #5, allegedly after skulling a shot that got no higher than ten feet off the ground before bouncing in the small gulley in front of the green and hopping and rolling to 15 feet. While the people in his group heckled him because of his bad shot that turned out good…Neuf just smiled, content in the fact that there are no descriptions required on the score card. Plus, he couldn’t hear them…because of his head phones…attached to his iPod which was playing an Oprah Winfrey self-help podcast. Thanks to our hole sponsors, Shoal Lake Pharmacy and Kimp Agencies / Susinski Farms.

There were lots of new faces at Mens’ Night this week, such as Jason Stills, the new guy from Murray’s, who used his constant hand shaking to fool everyone at the poker table after golf. Les Grills was back, Brad Swereda made his first appearance…and we met Dan Stokes, the new RCMP constable who just arrived from Grand Prairie, Alberta. Plus there were more Huberdeau’s than a wedding at Ste. Lazare.

On a personal note, I would like to mention the enjoyable experience I had golfing with three of the young guys – Austin, Blake, and Theoren. Despite there being less gambling, drinking, and swearing, it was still really fun. I truly appreciated their excellent play, their etiquette and respect for the game, and their good company. I was impressed with Austin drive to the 100 yard marker on #8, on Blake’s composure despite small challenges, and Theoren’s overall laid back approach to golf. Most importantly, I am thankful for their final scores…because until Wednesday, I could not remember the last time that I shot better than everyone in my group at Mens’ Night.

Have fun next week going after all of those available skins. Regrettably, I have a meeting and will be away. Thanks in advance to Ron Huberdeau who will be reporting on the night’s events in my absence…in his own blog “Country Cooking with Hubey”.

Mens’ Night nudity…but not the fun kind

One of the great things about Mens’ Night starting in April, is we get to play so many times before summer officially begins.  However, one of the worst things about Mens’ Night starting in April is we get to play so many times before summer vacation begins.You see, I forgot that when you are not on vacation, the day after Mens’ Night is a work day. In the summer, it isn’t an issue. You can stay up late playing cards and visiting, head home, and sleep until you are rested. The challenge now is going home for six hours sleep (at best) and getting ready for a day at the office.

I noticed that I was getting tired this week during a game of Texas Hold’Em.  As I was dealing, someone asked me what I was doing.  I couldn’t understand what they were talking about so I asked them. I was informed that I dealt the flop before dealing anyone their required two cards.  I then handed the cards to the gentleman to my right, stood up, and said goodnight.  And that was only at 11:00 pm.

Maybe my lethargy can be attributed to the fact that I am getting old…but older guys seem to thrive in these circumstances. I wish I were like some of the other guys, hardened through years of late night partying and alcohol abuse.  Sure, I’ll probably live longer…but right now I envy them.

The one positive thing that came out of it was the next morning.  My wife asked me how Mens’ Night was and I said it was “fun”, before explaining how tired I was.  She then inexplicably suggested that sometime in the future I should stay out late and take a vacation day on the subsequent Thursday.  I am not sure why she would make such a suggestion, other than the fact that it is Mothers’ Day this weekend.  I am assuming she wants something big.  My only regret is I did not tape record her saying what she said.

Wait, this isn’t my personal diary…I am supposed to be writing stuff about the golf.  I probably should apologize for my selfishness and try to move forward.

Let me see, I had closest to the hole on #5.  No wait, that’s still talking about me.  How about I mention that Neuf was closest on #9?  His tee shot early in the evening to about 45 feet held up on a windy night in which almost no one else found the green.

Five skins were won – Austin and Brad ($32.50 on #1), Chris K. and Jason Hunter ($32.50 on #7), Blake Cramer and Butch ($42.50 on #9), and Wes and Robin doubling up ($20 on #2, $65.50 on 8).

In terms of evening news, there isn’t much to report because there wasn’t much that seemed to happen.  We had 20 golfers…who for the most part kept a low profile.  There was a report of Chris and Milt going into the woods together followed by Chris coming out with his pants down.  I will allow you to paint your own mental images of that one. It was the first incident of nudity around the golf course since the weekend, when a streaker was seen on the highway just past the fourth tee box.  Apparently, you can move faster when unencumbered by the restraints of long pants.

In other news, Blake said something to me driving up the fairway on #3.  As soon as the words left his lips, he said, “If you put that on the blog I will really kill you”.  So I am not going to mention it…given that Blake knocks people out in hockey dressing rooms with short rabbit punches. 

Sorry about talking about myself so much at the start of this entry.  Have a good weekend and see you next Wednesday.

Oh wait…did I mention that I missed the three foot birdie on #5 for the deuce pot…?

Horse Race on July 28th

The second annual horse race tournament is scheduled for Saturday, July 28th.


Participating golfers will play a 18 hole qualifying event before being split into flights for the horse race.  Each flight will eliminate golfers after each hole until only one remains.

We will also have a calcutta in conjunction with the horse race. You will have a chance to bid on those golfers in the first and second flights that you think will be most successful.  Last year, the prizes for the top 3 calcutta picks in each pool exceeded the prize money for the actual winners.

Further information may be found at the link to the left.

The same but different

“Same but different” was the theme of the evening.  This is fitting given golf is a game of sameness but differences.  We all use clubs, but different clubs.  The balls we play look similar but they are of different brands and are marked with different numbers and logos.  We start out with similar aspirations but not all of us feel the same way at the end of the round.

In terms of the “same but different” theme yesterday evening…let me present you with a few examples.  Firstly, the weather was similar (not that warm) but the turnout was different (29 golfers instead of 16).   I still had extra clothing (the same) but this time I wore long underwear instead of two pairs of pants (different).  It rained during the day but was clear during the evening (different).  However, we still got wet (the same) when the sprinklers poured down on us as we putted on our final two holes. 

The game was the same…but the experiences of the guys who played were different.  Point in case, the elderly gentleman who shot a 38 felt pride and joy while the slightly younger man who staggered in with a 58 felt shame and sorrow.

We had two Blakes (the same) but their fate took divergent paths (different).  Young Blake Cramer basked in the spotlight, scoring a birdie on #3 to win a skin for himself and Robin Kimpinski.  Meanwhile, older Blake Hunter actually lost some skin as he retrieved his broken three wood from the trees just in front of the sixth tee box…after hitting his fifth shot into the trees.

Even some individuals experienced the same but different phenomena.  Scott Maynes, for example, had different results, and emotional experiences, while completing the same activity (putting).  He showed tremendous patience and poise as he putted in for birdie on #6.  That was after displaying little of either after a three putt on #2…followed by the launch of an angry 60 foot putt which tore across the green and rough before knocking the hub cap off of a moving cart.  This actually happened…six of us witnessed it.

I saw two people hit the green on the par 3 fifth hole (the same).  The difference was how they got there.  Jason Gorrell did it by teeing off from the fifth tee box.  Brett Griffin did by teeing off the eight tee box.  As a few of lined up putts on the right side of the green, his errant tee shot landed beside us before coming to rest in the rough.

Also, we introduced a new addition to the pairing of players by introducing the dummy card.  In an amazing stoke of coincidence, Neuf got paired with it.  Wait…that doesn’t fit with this week's theme.

In terms of the actual golf, it was a nice evening for both Chris Kimpinski and the previously mentioned Blake Cramer.  Chris had closest to the hole on #5, won the deuce pot, and split a $64 skin with Theoren Hunter.  Blake was closest on #9 and he cashed in for two skins totalling $40 with Robin.  The fourth skin of the evening was won by the duo of Luke Funk and Maynes.

You may note a trend in my blog entries…with the same guys being referenced on a regular basis.  The reason is simple.  I write what I know.  If I don't receive field reports, I am left with talking about what happened in my group.  Please help me make this blog more inclusive.  If Ronnie Susinski makes a bad shot, I want to hear about it.  If the normally Zen-like John Gill goes ballistic over a missed putt, let me know. If Milt goes a round without talking to himself, call me.

Also, don't forget if you comment on the blog, you are entered into a draw for a free drink at the next Mens' Night.  I mentioned this before but I think I might need to clarify what I mean.  If you see me on the street and say, like Robin did, "Hey Stephen, nice blog"...that is not what I mean by comment.  What I am actually doing is inviting you to type comments below the weekly posting on the website.

Yes...it was a cool one!

Okay…so I am not a meteorologist.  I will admit that my initial projections for the weather missed a little bit. When we started golfing it was 1 C with a wind chill of -4 C.  When we finished at 8:30 pm it was -1 C with a wind chill of -7 C.  There were toques and mitts, and long underwear.  There was shivering and blue lips and restricted swings because of multiple layers of clothing.  Golfers were adding two or three clubs because of the impact of the cold on their balls.  They were also not going to the bathroom outside…for the same reason. With the less than ideal temperatures, no one broke forty, but someone broke 60…the wrong side of 60 I mean.

How cold was it?  Well, on #3 I broke a ball on my tee shot…cracking it all the way around.  Lots of guys talked about the stingers that they received when they hit long irons. It was so cold that Robin suggested we implement a ten and ten rule in the future…that being a minimum of ten golfers and 10 Celsius.  It was so cold that two guys used a dog sled instead of a golf cart. It was so cold that when Brad got home he gave Diane the cold shoulder for a change.  It was so cold that Milt stayed home in fear that hair his might freeze.  It was so cold that the chicken wings in the Club House were only available in hot.  It was so cold that you could putt out of the water hazards. It was so cold that Wes argued with Butch just for the chance to get into a heated argument. It was so cold that when someone made a great shot in your group, you gave them the mitten instead of the finger. It was so cold we huddled around Neuf, just for the hot air.  It was so cold that everyone had the putting yips because of the shivering.  It was so cold that when Austin Hunter tried to spit on his club to clean it, the spit froze in mid air. 

If the temperature is low on some future Mens’ Night, check out the following link for some cold weather golf tips: http://www.intothegrain.com/ten-cold-weather-golf-tips/

One other suggestion…while they call them “hand warmers”, they are good no matter on which body part you use them.

Something else interesting that I discovered.  Golf balls are designed to perform optimally at the industry benchmark 80 degrees Fahrenheit (27 Celsius), not the cold temperatures that we experienced on Wednesday.  They actually make special low compression cold weather balls (http://coldfusiongolf.com/).

Sixteen golfers said the heck with the cold and came out for the first Mens’ Night for the year.  Skins were won on three holes.  Keith Booth and Stephen David (that’s me) cashed in for $34 hole #2. The separated-at-birth twosome of Robin and Neuf won a total of $54 for scoring best on consecutive holes (#3 and 4). The deuce pot fell to Mike McLennan who used a 3 iron and a putter to eagle the par 4 first hole. Closest to the hole winners were Brad Benton on #5 and Blake Cramer on #9.

Looking forward to next week, I am not going to try and predict the weather…but I am hopeful our numbers will continue to grow.  Come for the golf, the chance to hang out with your buddies, and maybe some hockey or cards afterward.  Plus we have two hole in one pots, one capped at $1616 and the other growing to $581 as of last week.

Mens' Night begins April 25th

Last year we had nineteen Mens' Nights after a June 1st start. With our opening night next Wednesday, April 25^th, we have six extra nights at our disposal. I even did a double take when I checked the calendar. There are actually five Wednesdays in May.

The weather forecast definitely looks promising for next week with a sunny day in the mid teens being projected. The golf forecast looks equally promising. If you think about it, it's like the first day of school...but for middle aged men.  Like many others, I will likely be too excited the night before to get any sleep.  Then the next day, instead of moms dropping off Kindergarten children, wives and girlfriends will drop off their charges for Mens’ Night...wishing them luck and telling them to try their best.  Like elementary students, we will show up with our new bags, albeit golf bags instead of knapsacks. Some of us will have new shoes and new golf clothes. Everyone will be filled with promise, whether it is because of new swing thoughts or new equipment or shiny new balls.  There will be smiles and good natured exchanges as people congregate together after a few months apart.

Unlike grade school, there will those aspects that appeal to the older crowd.  For example, there will be alcoholic beverages and gambling.  There will be some partial nudity and the occasional hooker…but mainly slicers.  Speaking of the partial nudity, can we do something about those guys that play topless on the hottest evenings.  It is Mens’ Night for god sakes!

Unfortunately, like the school experience of children, the promise of Mens' Night is not realized for everyone.  While there will be excitement for many, some golfers may have anxiety about either not being successful or doing something that might be embarrassing. Some of the promise will disappear quickly when the sound of balls leaving clubs is followed by the sounds of balls striking trees and grown men muttering mean-spirited profanities.  While some will experience promising beginnings, others will soon realize that this year could be worse than the last one.  Like small children, there may be some lying (“I had a seven”) and some temper tantrums (“How come no one gave me that?).  Some will throw things…most likely drivers off the eight tee. Some will be oppositional to their teacher, such as when that know-it-all in your foursome starts telling you what you are doing wrong and how you should correct it. The popular kids (John Gill, Blake Hunter) will be envied by the nerdy kids (Neuf, Ronnie Susinski, myself). There may be occasional instances of teasing and bullying (leave Milt alone Kimpinski!).  There will be boys who flirt with girls…which is cute when you are in Grade 3, but somewhat creepy when it is a 45 year old guy hitting on a 20 year old cart girl.  For those of you such as Brad who likes a woman closer to his age, I can report the return of a certain club house lady from a few years back.

In terms of the golf, the format remains much the same.  We will do a shotgun start and then play 9 holes with skins.  The maximum hole score of +3 will be sustained to speed up play and minimize low self esteem. The ringer board will continue to be flighted to allow for additional opportunities for prizes.  For those of you who weren’t members of the Golf Club last year, we are once again offering half price memberships.  This includes unlimited playing privileges on Mens’ Night.

This year, I am going to form an email group comprised of people who would like notifications of blog updates or coming events related to Mens' Night. If you would like to be included in the email group, simply let me know at sdavid@mts.net

One additional thing I would like to encourage is some interaction with the blog...and perhaps field reporting.  Feel free to add a comment to any post.  As a special incentive, anyone who posts a comment during a given week will be entered into a draw for a free beverage the subsequent Wednesday.  Remember to keep the comments tasteful and relatively kind and good natured.

See you Wednesday.  I will be the guy sitting outside the Club House waiting for it to open earlier that morning.