Recent studies found average golfers travel 900 miles a year. Another study found golfers drink 22 gallons of alcohol a year. This means, on average, golfers get 41 miles to the gallon.
The study actually stated that golfers “walk” 900 miles per year. Not many people walk at our course…and almost no one walks on Mens’ Night. This isn’t because of laziness; it is because of caring, efficiency, and safety. All us Mens’ Night guys need to be on call in case our work or our wives need us. If they phone we need to be able to abandon golf in an instant and rush to our vehicles to get home quickly. Also, we need to ensure that Mens’ Night is finished before night fall, so driving ensures that is the case. This has the added benefit of getting us home to our significant others earlier. Finally, there is the safety factor. Last night, for example, some of us were playing when a couple of powerful sun showers hit. Had we stayed exposed on the greens and tee boxes we risked serious health issues such as wetting of thinning hair and pruning of fingers. Luckily, we had the roofs of our golf carts to provide us with shelter.
The forty golfers who showed up enjoyed a mostly sunny and clear evening, with the exception of the previously mentioned burst of rain. Plus there was a double rainbow which provided a calming backdrop as I finished with double on my final hole.
Skins went on four holes including those won by Keith Martin / Robin Kimpinski ($20 on #1), Chris Kimpinski / Dale Newton ($20 on #4), Stephen David/Cody Cornwall ($59 on #6), and Tyler Martin / Kevin Headland ($59 on #8). The deuce pot of $60 was split by Jamie McCutchins and Devin Allen.
Jamie was closest on #5 while Ken Stewart won the honour on #9. Thanks to our hole sponsors Shoal Lake Motor Inn and Susinski Farms / Kimp Services.
In other news, there was no other news. No one told me anything, although Benton was wired early on about something that happened...but then he forgot to fill me in with the details. Maybe it was the story he told us later about how Robin is so awesome and how Robin is the greatest user of computers and technology ever.
My group was relatively quiet. The most exciting thing we dealt with was Wes’ new haircut, which apparently included Milt gel (insert your own joke here). We were so dull that even Gorrell stopped hitting the big slices and went straight...and he hasn't been straight since '97. Neuf was quiet and almost went the whole night without raising his club while uttering profanities toward the heavens. Scott Maynes complained on every hole regarding how poor he was golfing but ended up taking eight pars and one bogey for a horrible round of 37. I recommend that we all buy him a drink next time he is out, and see how he does on Mens’ Night with a slightly fuller tank. His score will likely go up but I bet that he has more fun.
Mr. Maynes did ask me to remind you about the Fundraising Tournament on July 6th as well as the Horse Race Tourney on July 28th. Contact him for further information or to register.
As you know, many of us will be away at Shoal Lake grad next week. I ask only that you have fun, play your best, and stay away from the skins on #5 and 9.
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