Fore! And Other Words That Are Sometimes Said on Men’s Night

Men's Night..the sacred tradition where grown men gather to play at least 9 holes with friends on a Wednesday night. It's a time of camaraderie, competition, and, of course, casual profanity.

I was away on Wednesday, so there may have been less off-colour language than a typical night. There were 40 golfers but only 39 paid. That used to make me want to curse, but this may have been the first time this year someone forgot to pay. I guess that's okay.

I am not sure how everyone’s round went. I am guessing Kendal Koroscil didn’t use any bad words given that he shot a 37.

There were no closest to the pins recorded. Unfortunately, the books didn’t get put out. Sorry for anyone who hit the green. You likely dropped an F-bomb when you saw that the clipboards were missing.

There were two skins won. Reegan Kominko and Keith Martin cashed in for $43.76 on #3. Scott Maynes or John Gill may have exclaimed a four-letter word in a positive way when they found out that they won $172.12 for #8.

Now back to the idea of profanity and golf. Let’s be real...it is a hard game. It requires precision, patience, and considerable self-restraint. But somehow, no matter how hard we try to stay calm, something happens on the course that tests our resolve. The moment we step onto the first tee, we're full of high hopes, and share comments such as “Good luck and have fun”. But those affirming thoughts are quickly replaced with other, less desirable words as our golf ball slices into the woods off the first tee.

You are just starting your official round, after some practice holes if you are lucky. You line up, take a deep breath, and swing the club only for the ball to head straight to the bush. And suddenly, like an uncontrollable reflex, out comes one the words that we all know too well.

If you find your ball or if you have better luck on #2, you can reset both your round and your mental state. But if your bad luck continues, often so does the profanity. And from that moment on, it’s like a swear jar at a 5-year-old’s birthday party: every hole, a new word, every shot, a new curse.

There are places at the local course that likely are more prone to profanity than others. The tee shot on #3, the second shot on #4, and the approach from inside of 120 yards on #7 are examples. But sometimes the frustration comes in unexpected places. You hit the green on #9 hoping for a share of the deuce pot but then three-putt. Or you have a straight four-footer to win several snips but your ball dives to the left inches from the hole.

We all know golf is supposed to be relaxing. It's an escape. It’s a chance to forget about work, responsibilities, and the fact that you might be skipping out on a family birthday or anniversary that someone had the nerve to schedule on a Wednesday. But golf is a game that gives and takes in equal measure. For every perfect shot, there’s another that decides to go in some wayward direction. And when it happens, it is easier said than done to keep calm and carry on.

But here’s the thing. No matter what happens, we still keep coming back for more. It’s like that one friend who swears he’s never drinking again every time he wakes up with a hangover. However, with golf, we return because there’s always that tiny, fleeting moment when everything aligns. You hit an amazing shot and someone in your group says “That’s why we keep coming back”. And for that brief second, it’s like you’ve unlocked the secret of the universe.

So, yes, Men's Night can involve some swearing, a few bad shots, and pretending that we can absolutely make a birdie on the final hole when we’re already 10 over par. But it’s also about the laughs, the jokes, and the bond that comes from a group of grown men collectively cursing their way through the game.

And after all that, when the round ends, the sun sets, and the golf carts are stowed away in sheds, the last words on our lips aren't curses. They’re usually something along the lines of “Same time next week?”

So, see you next Wednesday. Or maybe I will hear some of you yelling profanities tomorrow at night golf.