All good things must come to an end...

What a great year for Mens’ Night! Over the course of 19 Wednesdays, we enjoyed some great conditions that translated into the longest season we have had in recent memory. We golfed last night in October on a day when the temperatures were in the high 20’s and the course played like mid-July.

Nineteen golfers competed on an incredibly windy night. Not surprisingly, only two skins were won. Hubey and Butch took $20. on #1 while Brad and Mikey P. cashed in for the same amount on #7. Closest to the pins were Ronnie Susinski on #5 and Brad on #9. There were no twos recorded…although Butch missed a putt for eagle on #1 that would have won him the deuce pot.

Last week, I mistakenly credited Wes Arnfinson with the field report. I found out it was actually Jason Hunter who did it…and he submitted some other updates for this week. Jason seems somewhat obsessed with Dennis Green. One of the first things's he noted was Neuf’s apparent vendetta against Denny’s cart on #4, which he may have hit twice with golf balls. He talked later about how Denny was glad Robin was absent because it saved him money in snips. He also mentioned how Denny is afraid of snakes, describing him as our own Indiana Jones. Saying that Denny fearful of reptiles is unfair as far as I am concerned. Jason needs to know that stating that Denny is like Indiana Jones, Liberace, Elton John and others who fear snakes would seem to make an unfair implication. Mr. Green is a man’s man, who only dyes his hair for theatrical productions, and who is happily married to a much younger woman. Why pick on someone like Denny, when we have others, like that guy who shall remain nameless who is in his mid-thirties and is a confirmed “bachelor” who lived with his parents recently and is a self-professed “bartender”. I am just saying…let’s call a spade a spade and give poor Dennis a break. In last week’s column, Jason was even making fun of Mr. Green’s age. On a positive note, he didn’t take the easy and predictable route of making fun of Denny’s golf game.

Jason also described Bird’s affinity for the wind, noting that our elder statesman scored one of his best rounds of the year despite the extreme gusts. It was also reported that Butch professed his disdain with taking everyone’s money on a weekly basis. Apparently, Mr. Derhak has offered to give any interested parties either golf or poker lessons. Then Jason said something about how Milt was happy to be back despite past blog abuse. I must say, quite frankly, that Mr. Hunter has it all wrong. My blog entries are tributes to Mr. Ostash. I write about him as a child writes about a cherished uncle, with reverence and mild embellishment. I certainly wouldn’t take the mean-spirited approach that some guest contributors take and attack a poor defenseless senior like Dennis Green. Milt deserves to be thanked for his even temperament, good will, and generosity. Heck, last night he bought several rounds for the guys playing cards. In fact, he readily signed over several cheques for skins to help offset the bar tab for those present. Milt Ostash is a saint…and whoever says otherwise I would gladly challenge to a fight on any day in the parking lot. Blake Hunter, Joel Ostash, and I would gladly take on any three of you who want to belittle Milt.

I probably should take a moment to thank Jason for his help, not only with the blog reports, but also the prize presentations after Mens’ Night. Thanks for giving your time to support our fraternal order…in spite of the challenges and frustration you have had with your own golf game for the latter part of this season.

It is with considerable sadness that I sign off for 2011. Thanks to everyone who came out this year. Thanks also to Superintendent Joel Ostash and his crew for ensuring that the course is always in such fine condition. Thanks also to Butch and the Clubhouse staff for taking care of us so well this season.

We will resume Mens’ Night as soon as they allow players on the course in the Spring….which will not be soon enough for most of us.

Milt is back!

Despite all the talk, by Blake and Neuf, of their great evening of skins, everyone present knew the real story of the night.  Milt Ostash was back.  After missing 4 or 5 weeks because of injury, hunting, fishing, and fear of competition, Mr. Ostash returned.  He returned to regale us of tales of his journeys and exploits over the last month.  He filled that gap in all of our lives by talking to himself throughout his round.  On a night when Brad Benton struggled with a score in the 40's, Milt reassured us that good golf could still be played by carding a 39.  He even managed to record closest to the pin on #9.  On behalf of all of us, welcome back Milt.  Thanks for bringing the joy back to Mens' Night.  The one criticism reported of Milt's return was that he refused to play for money.  What the critic missed was Milt's new approach to life and golf.  After some time away, he realized it isn't about the gambling...it is about the friendship and man-love.  While many of us like to wager and do manly things when we play, Milt showed us that it is okay to just to spend time with the guys he cares about.  Great job Milt!

In terms of the actual golfing, Blake and Neuf recorded a one-day season record of three skins on Wednesday, winning a total of $60. for wins on #1, ##4, and #7.  Brad Benton and Ken Ostash also cashed in on multiple holes, winning $52. for #6 and #9.  The deuce pot was won by Robin Kimpinski with the other closest to the pin going to Benton on #5.

I didn't golf myself, but someone was kind enough to leave a written report.  I suspect it was Wes, because of the use of capital letters plus the glowing praise for Wes.  The report stated that "Wes had an all world par on #1".  It continued to describe two tee shots in the bush followed by a third shot out and a fourth into the hole.  Certainly impressive...but all-world?  In other news, it was reported that Neuf had a laser-guided eagle on #4, chipping in from well off the green. It was said that if it did not hit the pin, his shot likely would have stopped in the middle of the eight fairway.   The field reporter also stated that the area adjacent to the eight tee was completely dry, yet there was no sign of Hubey's driver.

This coming Wednesday will be our final mens' night of the year.  It is also the 18th time we have had the good fortune to get together on a Wednesday this year...which has to be close to an all-time record. To help toast this successful season, every golfer who shows up will get a complimentary beverage of their choice.  The last thing the field reporter said was worth noting.  While the comment reeks of ageism and disrespect to our elders, it is still quite fitting.  The anonymous writer said "Most of us will only hope to live long enough to see another Mens' Night in October...right Denny and Bird".

Have fun on Wednesday.  Remember that you may tee off with your group any time after 5:00 pm. While I need to be at the football game and will miss the golfing, I will be there later for the free drink.