A Message to the Temporary Greens

I talked to someone on Wednesday night. He said he understood why there were temporary greens but he was looking forward to them being gone. He said he just couldn't figure out these greens. I am going to speak more about this matter shortly, but first I will do the quick Men’s Night recap.

There were 21 golfers this past week. Several of us were away for the Shoal Lake grad. Skins went on four holes. Dick Edgeworth and Reegan Kominko combined for two holes, winning $43.13 on #2 and $20 on #7. Other winners included Ryden Lanouette/Braeden Allen ($43.13 on #5) and Milt/Wes Arnfinson ($35.63 on #6).

Reegan also had the low round of the evening with a 37. The highest score was 54.

Closest to the holes were Dick Edgeworth on #5 and Peyton Kominko on #9. Peyton was only about 14 inches from a hole-in-one. Unfortunately, he missed the birdie on the most challenging putting surface on the course. That allowed Phil Ostash to claim a solo share of the $180.02 deuce pot.

Now back to the temporary greens. I want to first qualify my perspective. I am very glad that the Club is doing the work to improve the putting services. I have great respect for the workers and volunteers that are putting in the time to improve conditions. I understand why we have temporary greens. And I am absolutely not a fan of them.

There are few things in life more confusing than becoming emotionally attached to something you never wanted in the first place. We’ve spent a good portion of this year, aiming at temporary greens, putting on them, and occasionally questioning our eyesight because we couldn’t quite tell where the green ended and the fairway began. They’ve served their purpose admirably. They were there when we needed them. They kept golf going while the permanent greens recovered. And for that, we’re grateful.

But if we’re being honest, we’re also counting down the days until they disappear.

Temporary greens occupy a special category in life. They’re a lot like a temporary tooth filling. When the dentist installs one, you’re thrilled. The pain is gone. You can chew again. Everything is fine...for about three days. Then you spend the next several weeks thinking, “I really hope the permanent one goes in soon.”

Temporary greens are the golf equivalent of that filling. Functional? Absolutely. Ideal? Not exactly.

Or consider temporary accommodations. Maybe you’ve had an extended stay in a hotel. At first, it feels pretty good. Fresh towels every day. No lawn mowing. Tiny bottles of shampoo that somehow make you feel fancy. By week two, you’re eating cereal with a plastic spoon and longing for your own bed and pillow.

Another good comparison might be the temporary sink during a kitchen renovation. Let’s say that your kitchen is gutted during a remodeling which leaves you washing your dishes in a laundry sink in the basement. You appreciate that sink more than words can express. You also celebrate its departure like your team just won the championship.

That’s exactly how golfers feel about temporary greens.

Of course, temporary solutions are a fundamental part of the middle-aged life that many of us Men’s Nighters experience. There’s the reading glasses you bought at the gas station because you forgot your real ones. The spare tire that definitely wasn’t supposed to stay on for two months. The piece of duct tape holding together the remote control. Every one of these deserves our appreciation. Every one of these is also something we're delighted to replace.

Our temporary greens have done their job. They gave us a place to play when conditions weren’t ready. They allowed us to continue enjoying the game rather than having to drive to Birtle or Hamiota. They were the golfing equivalent of a backup quarterback. Nobody buys the jersey, but everyone appreciates the effort.

However, we are all likely imagining approach shots that actually stay where they land. We are also dreaming of putts that roll naturally instead of feeling like they’re crossing a section of barbed wire. I am looking forward to using something other than a seven-iron when on the putting surface.

So, while we tip our cap to the temporary greens and appreciate their service, we won’t pretend we’re going to miss them. Thank you, temporary greens. You helped us get through some tough times. Now please don’t take this personally, but we’re very much looking forward to never seeing you again.

Men's Night Memories...Both Real and Imagined

There were 36 golfers on Wednesday. That's a solid turnout by any measure. We had a mixture of regulars with some new faces added in.

I want to talk about attendance and some interesting historical facts. But first, I will do a quick recap of last week.

There were skins won on five holes. Winners included Jason Gorrell/Ron Huberdeau ($20 on #1), Stephen David/Braeden Allen ($63.86 on #3), Milt/Neuf ($30 on #5), Phil Ostash/Jordan Murray ($22.50 on #7), and Keith Martin/Jim Geekie ($105.02 on #8).

I am not sure if Milt and Neuf have ever paired up. That has to be a rare occurrence for two people known mainly by one name. That is like Prince and Madonna sharing the stage together, and that maybe occurred only once, on February 23, 1985.

The low round of the evening was Keith Martin's 37, which edged out Ryden Lanouette on a countback. The high round was a 52. Closest to the pins were Brett Griffin on 5 and Joel Ostash on 9.

Ryden also added another birdie to his ringer board. He is now tied for the lead with Stephen David at -4.

Speaking of Stephen, his skin on Wednesday moved his season-leading money total to $261.92. Reegan Kominko is in second place at $88.15.

This year, our Men's Night falls on July 1. That doesn't happen often. We were actually discussing this recently. Interestingly, our belief has been that a Canada Day Men's Night means lots of golfers. That is not true.

The last two years that had Men's Nights on July 1 resulted in fewer players than last week. In 2020, there were only 29 golfers, with 34 in 2015. In 2020, it seemed that camping, fishing, and family time resulted in many regulars being away. One thing the blog noted in 2015 was a large turnout of Ostash's.

There was also a July 1st Wednesday in 2009. I don't recall what happened then because I took over Men's Night in 2010.

Our record turnout was August 3, 2014, when we had 51 golfers. I think that was one of two times in the last 15 years when we have hit 50. After a quick search, I couldn't confirm the other date when we hit 50 on the nose. I wonder if it was real or imagined...perhaps another myth or story that we've told and I have come to believe.

There are times when certain atypical events impact attendance one way or the other. On a beautiful July 12 in 2017, there were only 12 golfers. Most of the others were at the local airport watching the Snowbirds, Canada's aerobatic flight demonstration team. Wes Arnfinson golfed. I recall him saying that they were treated to the airshow on the course because of the proximity to the airport. He said the planes turned right above his group when they were playing hole 7.

So for a few years, I have been talking about how July 1 dates inflate golf numbers. I was incorrect. However, the story became one we retold until we believed it.

Just this last week, I had a similar experience. I was talking about our hole-in-one pots and stated that we had not had an ace since Dale Watson in 2018. I was off on this one as well. He won $1,616 for his hole-in-one on five on July 25, 2012. So that's 14 years since someone claimed the pot. For the record, there were 32 golfers that evening back in 2012.

One thing that has hurt our attendance this year is the lack of Wayway boys. They've only come once. Charles McKay told me that they will be back once our greens return.

I am away this coming Wednesday for the Shoal Lake grad. Sometimes that event drops Men's Night attendance a bit, but not always. If everyone doesn't mind, I would appreciate if no one got a hole-in-one or a deuce during my absence.

Weather Delays, Not Excuses

Wednesday was a weird one. The day after a storm that hit Shoal Lake hard, not many showed up for golf. 

During the day, volunteers removed large trees that fell across the golf course. The late-afternoon, early evening weather likely scared some people away, with worries that round two of the storm might hit.

By the 6:30 pm tee time, there were only 12 golfers who made it. That’s not the best turnout but is good enough to have an official Men’s Night.

Skins went on three holes. Winners included Stephen David/Jeff Hunter ($82.52 on #4), Scott Maynes/Blake Hunter ($20 on #6), and Riley Swereda/Ron Huberdeau ($20 on #7).

Closest to the holes were Stephen David on #5 and Ryden Lanouette on #9. Stephen also had the low round of the evening with a 36. The high round was a 54.

As of Wednesday, the Ringer board is starting to have some movement. Stephen is now ahead at -4 followed by Ryden at -3.

On Wednesday, some of those who didn’t play likely did not want to risk getting caught in the rain. I did hear that some guys attended a community meeting regarding lake levels.

This got me thinking about acceptable reasons to miss a Men’s Night. This is my list. Your personal perspective might differ.

It’s okay to miss Men’s Night if your child is being born, graduating, or getting married. It’s also reasonable to be away if you are hospitalized, but not if your wife is. Hospitals have afternoon visiting hours that don’t conflict with the 6:30 pm tee off.

You can miss Men’s Night if you are incarcerated, kidnapped, or involved in a kidnapping as the assailant.

Other acceptable excuses include being struck by lightning, elected Prime Minister that afternoon, or finding yourself floating down the lake on a dock that broke loose during a storm.

You may also be excused if your house is actively on fire. However, if the fire department arrives before 6:00 pm, expectations remain high that you play.

A surprise visit from your high school girlfriend or a winning lottery ticket that must be claimed immediately would also be considered valid reasons.

Reasons that are not acceptable include the following…”It looked cloudy,” “I couldn't find my heart medication,” or “I shot a 54 last week and needed time to recover emotionally.”

In the end, the storm passed, the course survived, and 12 brave souls made it out. The rest of you will have an opportunity to submit their excuse forms to the official Men’s Night attendance committee. Jason Gorrell is their contact.

Skins, Deuces, and a Soaking Rain

There were 27 golfers out this past Wednesday for a night filled with skins, deuces, and a good soaking rain for the last few holes. Skins were claimed on six different holes, with winners including Reegan Kominko ($88.15 on #1), Cole Hunter and Wes Arnfinson ($33.76 on #2), Phil Ostash and Stephen David ($20.00 on #5), Jason Neufeld and Riley Swereda ($20.00 on #6), Orin McKay and Brent Allen ($75.02 on #7), and Terry Susinski and Paul Lucas ($75.02 on #9).

Five deuces were carded on the night by Riley Swereda, Paul Lucas, Stephen David, Ryden Lanouette, and Braeden Allen. Ryden’s deuce was especially noteworthy, coming on the par-4 second hole. 

Closest to the pin honors went to Stephen on #5 and Riley on #9. Riley also had the low round of the night with a solid 34, while the high round of 58 was by an unnamed player in his group. Ryden Lanouette is also holding down the top spot on the ringer board, currently leading the pack at -3.

There is a lot of action happening around the course right now. The temporary greens are in full use, and grass is starting to grow on the original greens. Additionally, the tree crew has been busy planting new rows of trees spanning from holes 5 to 8.

With the temporary greens currently in full use, please remember that we are not adjusting our regular putting rules. Rumours have it that some groups on Wednesday played a two-putt maximum, or even allowing gimmies on birdies and pars. If your group is doing this, please discontinue the practice immediately.

To keep things fair, the general rule of putting out all birdies must be strictly followed. However, if you want to give a competitor a reasonable gimmie for a double or triple bogey to keep up the pace of play, that is perfectly fine. While Men's Night is absolutely intended to be fun, remember that we are also playing for real money, so let's keep the field fair and accurate for everyone.