Golf Hurts!

6:00 pm tee off next week

Sometimes golf hurts. Occasionally, bad shots and high scores cause us emotional pain. Other times golf results in actual physical discomfort. With apologies to Nazareth, it could be said that golf hurts, golf scars, golf wounds, and mars. Any heart not tough or strong enough to take a lot of pain...should probably find something else to do on Wednesday evenings.

With the Fall farming season underway, we dipped below thirty golfers for the first time in a while...with only 29 playing on Wednesday. It is possible that not everyone who missed was working on a field somewhere. Given that the majority of Mens' Night participants (including myself) are middle aged or older, we tend to lose a few due to injury as the season progresses. Heck, even Tiger Woods is having trouble. That's him in the picture above, kneeling on the fairway in a tournament last weekend...allegedly from a sore back.

At the start of the season, we are all reasonably healthy. Usually, the worst golf-related conditions that we have to deal with then are the sore heads and mild gastrointestinal distress the morning after Mens' Night. But as the summer progresses, golf takes a toll on our bodies. Knees and backs start to stiffen and mild tendonitis inflames our elbows. As a group, we generally soldier on, playing in spite of the mild maladies. In fact, the only time we even mention our ailments is after a bad shot...stating how our lower back spasm was the real reason we hooked the ball into the trees. Sure there are more serious injuries and illnesses. We occasionally have those who sever ligaments and require walking casts...or fall out of golf carts unexpectedly. For the most part, it is a combination of our aging bodies and the repetitive stress from swinging golf clubs for several months.

Even though some of those out on Wednesday were mildly hobbled, skins still went on four holes. Winners included Scott Maynes / Jason Hunter ($53.50 on #1), Stephen David / Ron Huberdeau ($33 on #3), Robin Kimpinski / Bob Moffatt ($20 on #5), and Dave Gill / Jamie McCutchin ($20 on #8). The ever elusive #9 skin remains in tact and will likely be at approximately $180 this Wednesday. While the high / low pairings are random, it would appear that a team is going to combine for a net birdie.

Closest to the pins this week were Jamie McCutchin on #5 and Kyler Demond on #9. Neither converted their birdie, leaving the $43.50 deuce pot to be split by Scott Maynes and Darcy Kowalchuk. It is worth noting that Scott's two was a chip in eagle on the par 4 1st hole. It nice that Maynes finally gets some luck on the golf course...given how bad he has been reporting his play of late. I actually was there one week recently when he scored a 38. I am assuming that has some injury causing him to score so high. On a positive note, Scott moved to the top of the season money list (which may be viewed by clicking the link on the left side of this page). Hopefully, the additional $48.00 he won this week helps to soothe his pain.

I will leave you with this classic story of a golf related injury...

A couple of women were playing golf on a Sunday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony.

The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me!", she told him earnestly.

"Ummph, oooh, nnooo, I'll be alright...I'll be fine in a few minutes", he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch.

But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and she put her hands inside. She began to massage him. She then asked him: "How does that feel"

To which he replied: "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."