A former NBA player by the name of Alvin Attles tells a story of the time that he and Wilt Chamberlain combined to score 117 points in one NBA game. Wilt scored 100 and Al scored 17. Well, last night Neuf and I combined to shoot 84. Neuf had a 34 and I had...well...I had the rest.
Neuf and I played together and our games could not have been more juxtaposed. He was nearly perfect and I was almost perfectly terrible. He targeted pins with uncanny precision while I targeted trees after unmanly decisions. Neuf got four birdies and I had four triples. He could not miss a putt while I struggled not to three putt. The guys playing with us looked at Neuf with envy and awe. Meanwhile, they averted their gaze as I was about to strike the ball in fear of catching whatever I had. Our games even ended with completely opposite emotions. Neuf cursed aloud after missing a three foot birdie on nine while I breathed a sigh of relief to finish the same hole with a par.
I guess if it is any consolation, my four triples were honest and not Mens' Night maxes. Like any golfer, I need at least one positive take-away. My other take away is that karma sucks. After a few references in previous blogs to Blake Hunter's struggle to break the 50 mark, I carded that same score. Congratulations to Blake for going under this week. Perfect timing by the way.
The interesting thing was the conditions were absolutely perfect. Warm and sunny with almost no trace of wind. Birdies abounded and many of the 44 golfers carded season low scores. Personally, I don't think good weather works for me. My two rounds near forty occurred during our sub zero rounds earlier this year.
Skins went on four holes, including #2 (Brad Swereda and Blake Hunter - $57), #6 (Brad Benton and Joel Ostash - $67), #7 (Luke Funk and Wayne Chegwin - $22), and #8 (Brad and Blake again for $57). The $66 deuce pot was split by Wes Arnfinson and Gab Huberdeau.
Milt was closest to the pin on #5, winning a golf shirt from Manitoba Hydro for his effort. The mighty Neuf won a free steak from Susinski Farms and Kimp Services for sticking it close on #9.
Other low scores included Brad with 35, Milt and Wes with 38, Ron Susinski, Scott Maynes and Dale Martin with 39. Also noteworthy was Luke Funk's three birdie in a row streak on holes 6, 7, and 8. Good job Mr. Funk.
By the way, sorry to my cart partner Darcy for ending up being my scoring partner. You had a nice 41 in any case. For what it is worth, there were 11 guys with scores of 50 or worse. Somehow, that doesn't make me feel any better about my round.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Friday, May 25, 2012
Deuce, deuce, deuce...
In case you didn't notice, I wasn't at Mens' Night this week. I was at a meeting for our school division's transportation review. Good meeting...over 100 people in attendance. I am assuming that the guys who golfed didn't know about it.
In the past, when I missed the golf I would fabricate portions of the news portion of the blog. Given that I often stretch the truth a bit even when I am present, I thought I would try something different. What follows is the truth...and nothing but the truth...in so much as it is the truth, as reported to me by others. Like you, I implicitly trust all male golfers, so you may assume everything that was passed on to me is 100% factual.
There were 37 golfers...a new high for our season to date. The spike in attendance was likely due to many of our farm friends completing their seeding. The club welcomed some new faces to this year's season, including Ken Stewart, Dale Martin, Gary Kurtz, Dale Newton, Sport, and Terry McTavish. The newcomers faired quite well, with Mr. McTavish getting closest on #9 and combining with Ron Susinski to pick up a $35.00 skin on the same hole. Dale Newton won a $35.00 skin on #1 with Mike Susinski, while Sport cashed in for $35.00 on #7 with Mike McLennan. The other closest to the hole was recorded by Blake Cramer on #5.
Three guys split the $57 deuce pot including Mr. McTavish, Austin Hunter, and Scottie Maynes who got his 2 on the par 4 second hole. Scott's two helped him to go down to -3 on the ringer board to tie leader Chris Kimpinski.
There was some low scoring with five guys carding sub 40 rounds, led by Scott Maynes with a 35. Robin Kimpinski had a 38 and three guys had 39's (Jamie McCutchins, Dale Martin, and Mike McLennan. It was also a big night for Blake Hunter who posted his first sub 50 round of the year. I am guessing he will say that he plays better when I am absent.
Hopefully, I will see many of you at the Lions' Club tournament tomorrow. It may get as high as a balmy 13 Celsius!
By the way, if you are interested in more information regarding the transportation review you may check the Park West School Division website.
In the past, when I missed the golf I would fabricate portions of the news portion of the blog. Given that I often stretch the truth a bit even when I am present, I thought I would try something different. What follows is the truth...and nothing but the truth...in so much as it is the truth, as reported to me by others. Like you, I implicitly trust all male golfers, so you may assume everything that was passed on to me is 100% factual.
There were 37 golfers...a new high for our season to date. The spike in attendance was likely due to many of our farm friends completing their seeding. The club welcomed some new faces to this year's season, including Ken Stewart, Dale Martin, Gary Kurtz, Dale Newton, Sport, and Terry McTavish. The newcomers faired quite well, with Mr. McTavish getting closest on #9 and combining with Ron Susinski to pick up a $35.00 skin on the same hole. Dale Newton won a $35.00 skin on #1 with Mike Susinski, while Sport cashed in for $35.00 on #7 with Mike McLennan. The other closest to the hole was recorded by Blake Cramer on #5.
Three guys split the $57 deuce pot including Mr. McTavish, Austin Hunter, and Scottie Maynes who got his 2 on the par 4 second hole. Scott's two helped him to go down to -3 on the ringer board to tie leader Chris Kimpinski.
There was some low scoring with five guys carding sub 40 rounds, led by Scott Maynes with a 35. Robin Kimpinski had a 38 and three guys had 39's (Jamie McCutchins, Dale Martin, and Mike McLennan. It was also a big night for Blake Hunter who posted his first sub 50 round of the year. I am guessing he will say that he plays better when I am absent.
Hopefully, I will see many of you at the Lions' Club tournament tomorrow. It may get as high as a balmy 13 Celsius!
By the way, if you are interested in more information regarding the transportation review you may check the Park West School Division website.
Friday, May 18, 2012
Golfers' Eczema...poor skins!
There were no skins won on Wednesday. Zero…nada…zilch. None of the 33 golfers or 17 two-man teams could put together a low combined score on any of the nine holes.
After no skins prizes were awarded, many of the guys in the room started to jog their respective memories to identify when a similar thing happened. While they could not confirm such an occurrence in the past, they did remember other significant events. A few of the old timers recalled the last time someone at Mens’ Night was mad at John Gill…back in 1978. The last time Brad Benton remembered missing a putt for money…1967, when he was eleven years old. We reflected back to the last time Blake shot under 50 in Mens’ Night. That was October 6, 2011. Chris Kimpinski mentioned the last time Milt didn’t talk after a three putt was 1968…but that was because he was two and still not speaking. Neuf recollected the last time Wes got mad over something that happened in a poker game before throwing his cards down face up in protest before the hand was finished. That was May 16, 2012.
Scottie Maynes told of us the last time Jason Gorrell hit it straight…back in 2005. Yes, Gorrell was bending every shot long before that Bubba Watson guy made it popular. The slice is now so pervasive in Jason’s life, it even affects him away from the golf course. For example, it takes him 10 minutes to walk from Central S to Big Way…because he starts out by walking behind the post office before gradually coming back around.
For a bit more perspective, while no one could recall the last time no skins were won, several of his so-called friends reminded us that the last time Robin Kimpinski had grey hair was 2003. Apparently Robin attended a big insurance brokers convention in Winnipeg and noticed he was the only one showing signs of aging. Since then, he has been using Just For Men Natural Light Brown. He has only used the hair gel the last few years…since he started hanging out with Benton.
With the absence of skins, the only money claimed was the deuce pot. The previously mentioned Benton hit a beauty of number 9 and drained the putt, ending up closest to the hole for the evening in the process. That effort was worth a tidy $79.50. Brad also had the low score of the night, carding a 38. Jamie McCutchins was second best with a 39.
The other closest to the pin was Neuf’s on #5, allegedly after skulling a shot that got no higher than ten feet off the ground before bouncing in the small gulley in front of the green and hopping and rolling to 15 feet. While the people in his group heckled him because of his bad shot that turned out good…Neuf just smiled, content in the fact that there are no descriptions required on the score card. Plus, he couldn’t hear them…because of his head phones…attached to his iPod which was playing an Oprah Winfrey self-help podcast. Thanks to our hole sponsors, Shoal Lake Pharmacy and Kimp Agencies / Susinski Farms.
There were lots of new faces at Mens’ Night this week, such as Jason Stills, the new guy from Murray’s, who used his constant hand shaking to fool everyone at the poker table after golf. Les Grills was back, Brad Swereda made his first appearance…and we met Dan Stokes, the new RCMP constable who just arrived from Grand Prairie, Alberta. Plus there were more Huberdeau’s than a wedding at Ste. Lazare.
On a personal note, I would like to mention the enjoyable experience I had golfing with three of the young guys – Austin, Blake, and Theoren. Despite there being less gambling, drinking, and swearing, it was still really fun. I truly appreciated their excellent play, their etiquette and respect for the game, and their good company. I was impressed with Austin drive to the 100 yard marker on #8, on Blake’s composure despite small challenges, and Theoren’s overall laid back approach to golf. Most importantly, I am thankful for their final scores…because until Wednesday, I could not remember the last time that I shot better than everyone in my group at Mens’ Night.
Have fun next week going after all of those available skins. Regrettably, I have a meeting and will be away. Thanks in advance to Ron Huberdeau who will be reporting on the night’s events in my absence…in his own blog “Country Cooking with Hubey”.
After no skins prizes were awarded, many of the guys in the room started to jog their respective memories to identify when a similar thing happened. While they could not confirm such an occurrence in the past, they did remember other significant events. A few of the old timers recalled the last time someone at Mens’ Night was mad at John Gill…back in 1978. The last time Brad Benton remembered missing a putt for money…1967, when he was eleven years old. We reflected back to the last time Blake shot under 50 in Mens’ Night. That was October 6, 2011. Chris Kimpinski mentioned the last time Milt didn’t talk after a three putt was 1968…but that was because he was two and still not speaking. Neuf recollected the last time Wes got mad over something that happened in a poker game before throwing his cards down face up in protest before the hand was finished. That was May 16, 2012.
Scottie Maynes told of us the last time Jason Gorrell hit it straight…back in 2005. Yes, Gorrell was bending every shot long before that Bubba Watson guy made it popular. The slice is now so pervasive in Jason’s life, it even affects him away from the golf course. For example, it takes him 10 minutes to walk from Central S to Big Way…because he starts out by walking behind the post office before gradually coming back around.
For a bit more perspective, while no one could recall the last time no skins were won, several of his so-called friends reminded us that the last time Robin Kimpinski had grey hair was 2003. Apparently Robin attended a big insurance brokers convention in Winnipeg and noticed he was the only one showing signs of aging. Since then, he has been using Just For Men Natural Light Brown. He has only used the hair gel the last few years…since he started hanging out with Benton.
With the absence of skins, the only money claimed was the deuce pot. The previously mentioned Benton hit a beauty of number 9 and drained the putt, ending up closest to the hole for the evening in the process. That effort was worth a tidy $79.50. Brad also had the low score of the night, carding a 38. Jamie McCutchins was second best with a 39.
The other closest to the pin was Neuf’s on #5, allegedly after skulling a shot that got no higher than ten feet off the ground before bouncing in the small gulley in front of the green and hopping and rolling to 15 feet. While the people in his group heckled him because of his bad shot that turned out good…Neuf just smiled, content in the fact that there are no descriptions required on the score card. Plus, he couldn’t hear them…because of his head phones…attached to his iPod which was playing an Oprah Winfrey self-help podcast. Thanks to our hole sponsors, Shoal Lake Pharmacy and Kimp Agencies / Susinski Farms.
There were lots of new faces at Mens’ Night this week, such as Jason Stills, the new guy from Murray’s, who used his constant hand shaking to fool everyone at the poker table after golf. Les Grills was back, Brad Swereda made his first appearance…and we met Dan Stokes, the new RCMP constable who just arrived from Grand Prairie, Alberta. Plus there were more Huberdeau’s than a wedding at Ste. Lazare.
On a personal note, I would like to mention the enjoyable experience I had golfing with three of the young guys – Austin, Blake, and Theoren. Despite there being less gambling, drinking, and swearing, it was still really fun. I truly appreciated their excellent play, their etiquette and respect for the game, and their good company. I was impressed with Austin drive to the 100 yard marker on #8, on Blake’s composure despite small challenges, and Theoren’s overall laid back approach to golf. Most importantly, I am thankful for their final scores…because until Wednesday, I could not remember the last time that I shot better than everyone in my group at Mens’ Night.
Have fun next week going after all of those available skins. Regrettably, I have a meeting and will be away. Thanks in advance to Ron Huberdeau who will be reporting on the night’s events in my absence…in his own blog “Country Cooking with Hubey”.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Mens’ Night nudity…but not the fun kind
One of the great
things about Mens’ Night starting in April, is we get to play so many times
before summer officially begins.
However, one of the worst things about Mens’ Night starting in April is
we get to play so many times before summer vacation begins.
I noticed that I
was getting tired this week during a game of Texas Hold’Em. As I was dealing, someone asked me what I was
doing. I couldn’t understand what they
were talking about so I asked them. I was informed that I dealt the flop before
dealing anyone their required two cards.
I then handed the cards to the gentleman to my right, stood up, and said
goodnight. And that was only at 11:00
pm.
Maybe my
lethargy can be attributed to the fact that I am getting old…but older guys
seem to thrive in these circumstances. I wish I were like some of the other guys,
hardened through years of late night partying and alcohol abuse. Sure, I’ll probably live longer…but right now
I envy them.
The one positive
thing that came out of it was the next morning.
My wife asked me how Mens’ Night was and I said it was “fun”, before
explaining how tired I was. She then
inexplicably suggested that sometime in the future I should stay out late and
take a vacation day on the subsequent Thursday.
I am not sure why she would make such a suggestion, other than the fact
that it is Mothers’ Day this weekend. I
am assuming she wants something big. My
only regret is I did not tape record her saying what she said.
Wait, this isn’t
my personal diary…I am supposed to be writing stuff about the golf. I probably should apologize for my
selfishness and try to move forward.
Let me see, I had
closest to the hole on #5. No wait, that’s
still talking about me. How about I
mention that Neuf was closest on #9? His
tee shot early in the evening to about 45 feet held up on a windy night in
which almost no one else found the green.
Five skins were
won – Austin and Brad ($32.50 on #1), Chris K. and Jason Hunter ($32.50 on #7),
Blake Cramer and Butch ($42.50 on #9), and Wes and Robin doubling up ($20 on
#2, $65.50 on 8).
In terms of
evening news, there isn’t much to report because there wasn’t much that seemed
to happen. We had 20 golfers…who for the
most part kept a low profile. There was
a report of Chris and Milt going into the woods together followed by Chris
coming out with his pants down. I will
allow you to paint your own mental images of that one. It was the first
incident of nudity around the golf course since the weekend, when a streaker
was seen on the highway just past the fourth tee box. Apparently, you can move faster when
unencumbered by the restraints of long pants.
In other news,
Blake said something to me driving up the fairway on #3. As soon as the words left his lips, he said,
“If you put that on the blog I will really kill you”. So I am not going to mention it…given that
Blake knocks people out in hockey dressing rooms with short rabbit
punches.
Sorry about
talking about myself so much at the start of this entry. Have a good weekend and see you next
Wednesday.
Oh wait…did I
mention that I missed the three foot birdie on #5 for the deuce pot…?
Monday, May 7, 2012
Horse Race on July 28th
The second annual horse race tournament is scheduled for Saturday, July 28th.
Participating golfers will play a 18 hole qualifying event before being split into flights for the horse race. Each flight will eliminate golfers after each hole until only one remains.
We will also have a calcutta in conjunction with the horse race. You will have a chance to bid on those golfers in the first and second flights that you think will be most successful. Last year, the prizes for the top 3 calcutta picks in each pool exceeded the prize money for the actual winners.
Further information may be found at the link to the left.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
The same but different
“Same but different” was the theme of the evening. This is fitting given golf is a game of sameness but differences. We all use clubs, but different clubs. The balls we play look similar but they are of different brands and are marked with different numbers and logos. We start out with similar aspirations but not all of us feel the same way at the end of the round.
In terms of the “same but different” theme yesterday
evening…let me present you with a few examples.
Firstly, the weather was similar (not that warm) but the turnout was
different (29 golfers instead of 16). I
still had extra clothing (the same) but this time I wore long underwear instead
of two pairs of pants (different). It
rained during the day but was clear during the evening (different). However, we still got wet (the same) when the
sprinklers poured down on us as we putted on our final two holes.
The game was the same…but the experiences of the guys who
played were different. Point in case,
the elderly gentleman who shot a 38 felt pride and joy while the slightly
younger man who staggered in with a 58 felt shame and sorrow.
We had two Blakes (the same) but their fate took divergent
paths (different). Young Blake Cramer
basked in the spotlight, scoring a birdie on #3 to win a skin for himself and
Robin Kimpinski. Meanwhile, older Blake
Hunter actually lost some skin as he retrieved his broken three wood from the
trees just in front of the sixth tee box…after hitting his fifth shot into the
trees.
Even some individuals experienced the same but different
phenomena. Scott Maynes, for example,
had different results, and emotional experiences, while completing the same
activity (putting). He showed tremendous
patience and poise as he putted in for birdie on #6. That was after displaying little of either
after a three putt on #2…followed by the launch of an angry 60 foot putt which
tore across the green and rough before knocking the hub cap off of a moving
cart. This actually happened…six of us
witnessed it.
I saw two people hit the green on the par 3 fifth hole
(the same). The difference was how they
got there. Jason Gorrell did it by
teeing off from the fifth tee box. Brett
Griffin did by teeing off the eight tee box.
As a few of lined up putts on the
right side of the green, his errant tee shot landed beside us before coming to
rest in the rough.
Also, we introduced a new addition to the pairing of players
by introducing the dummy card. In an
amazing stoke of coincidence, Neuf got paired with it. Wait…that doesn’t fit with this week's theme.
In terms of the actual golf, it was a nice evening for both Chris Kimpinski and the previously mentioned Blake Cramer. Chris had closest to the hole on #5, won the deuce pot, and split a $64 skin with Theoren Hunter. Blake was closest on #9 and he cashed in for two skins totalling $40 with Robin. The fourth skin of the evening was won by the duo of Luke Funk and Maynes.
In terms of the actual golf, it was a nice evening for both Chris Kimpinski and the previously mentioned Blake Cramer. Chris had closest to the hole on #5, won the deuce pot, and split a $64 skin with Theoren Hunter. Blake was closest on #9 and he cashed in for two skins totalling $40 with Robin. The fourth skin of the evening was won by the duo of Luke Funk and Maynes.
You may note a trend in my blog entries…with the same guys
being referenced on a regular basis. The
reason is simple. I write what I
know. If I don't receive field reports, I
am left with talking about what happened in my group. Please help me make this blog more inclusive. If Ronnie Susinski makes a bad shot, I want to hear about it. If the normally Zen-like John Gill goes ballistic over a missed putt, let me know. If Milt goes a round without talking to himself, call me.
Also, don't forget if you comment on the blog, you are entered into a draw for a free drink at the next Mens' Night. I mentioned this before but I think I might need to clarify what I mean. If you see me on the street and say, like Robin did, "Hey Stephen, nice blog"...that is not what I mean by comment. What I am actually doing is inviting you to type comments below the weekly posting on the website.
Also, don't forget if you comment on the blog, you are entered into a draw for a free drink at the next Mens' Night. I mentioned this before but I think I might need to clarify what I mean. If you see me on the street and say, like Robin did, "Hey Stephen, nice blog"...that is not what I mean by comment. What I am actually doing is inviting you to type comments below the weekly posting on the website.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Yes...it was a cool one!
Okay…so I am not a meteorologist. I will admit that my initial projections for
the weather missed a little bit. When we started golfing it was 1 C with a wind
chill of -4 C. When we finished at 8:30
pm it was -1 C with a wind chill of -7 C.
There were toques and mitts, and long underwear. There was shivering and blue lips and
restricted swings because of multiple layers of clothing. Golfers were adding two or three clubs
because of the impact of the cold on their balls. They were also not going to the bathroom
outside…for the same reason. With the less than ideal temperatures, no one
broke forty, but someone broke 60…the wrong side of 60 I mean.
How cold was it? Well, on #3 I broke a ball on my tee shot…cracking it all the way around. Lots of guys talked about the stingers that they received when they hit long irons. It was so cold that Robin suggested we implement a ten and ten rule in the future…that being a minimum of ten golfers and 10 Celsius. It was so cold that two guys used a dog sled instead of a golf cart. It was so cold that when Brad got home he gave Diane the cold shoulder for a change. It was so cold that Milt stayed home in fear that hair his might freeze. It was so cold that the chicken wings in the Club House were only available in hot. It was so cold that you could putt out of the water hazards. It was so cold that Wes argued with Butch just for the chance to get into a heated argument. It was so cold that when someone made a great shot in your group, you gave them the mitten instead of the finger. It was so cold we huddled around Neuf, just for the hot air. It was so cold that everyone had the putting yips because of the shivering. It was so cold that when Austin Hunter tried to spit on his club to clean it, the spit froze in mid air.
If the temperature is low on some future Mens’ Night, check out the following link for some cold weather golf tips: http://www.intothegrain.com/ten-cold-weather-golf-tips/
Something else interesting that I discovered. Golf balls are designed to perform optimally at the industry benchmark 80 degrees Fahrenheit (27 Celsius), not the cold temperatures that we experienced on Wednesday. They actually make special low compression cold weather balls (http://coldfusiongolf.com/).
Sixteen golfers said the heck with the cold and came out for the first Mens’ Night for the year. Skins were won on three holes. Keith Booth and Stephen David (that’s me) cashed in for $34 hole #2. The separated-at-birth twosome of Robin and Neuf won a total of $54 for scoring best on consecutive holes (#3 and 4). The deuce pot fell to Mike McLennan who used a 3 iron and a putter to eagle the par 4 first hole. Closest to the hole winners were Brad Benton on #5 and Blake Cramer on #9.
How cold was it? Well, on #3 I broke a ball on my tee shot…cracking it all the way around. Lots of guys talked about the stingers that they received when they hit long irons. It was so cold that Robin suggested we implement a ten and ten rule in the future…that being a minimum of ten golfers and 10 Celsius. It was so cold that two guys used a dog sled instead of a golf cart. It was so cold that when Brad got home he gave Diane the cold shoulder for a change. It was so cold that Milt stayed home in fear that hair his might freeze. It was so cold that the chicken wings in the Club House were only available in hot. It was so cold that you could putt out of the water hazards. It was so cold that Wes argued with Butch just for the chance to get into a heated argument. It was so cold that when someone made a great shot in your group, you gave them the mitten instead of the finger. It was so cold we huddled around Neuf, just for the hot air. It was so cold that everyone had the putting yips because of the shivering. It was so cold that when Austin Hunter tried to spit on his club to clean it, the spit froze in mid air.
If the temperature is low on some future Mens’ Night, check out the following link for some cold weather golf tips: http://www.intothegrain.com/ten-cold-weather-golf-tips/
One other suggestion…while they call them “hand warmers”,
they are good no matter on which body part you use them.
Something else interesting that I discovered. Golf balls are designed to perform optimally at the industry benchmark 80 degrees Fahrenheit (27 Celsius), not the cold temperatures that we experienced on Wednesday. They actually make special low compression cold weather balls (http://coldfusiongolf.com/).
Sixteen golfers said the heck with the cold and came out for the first Mens’ Night for the year. Skins were won on three holes. Keith Booth and Stephen David (that’s me) cashed in for $34 hole #2. The separated-at-birth twosome of Robin and Neuf won a total of $54 for scoring best on consecutive holes (#3 and 4). The deuce pot fell to Mike McLennan who used a 3 iron and a putter to eagle the par 4 first hole. Closest to the hole winners were Brad Benton on #5 and Blake Cramer on #9.
Looking forward to next week, I am not going to try and
predict the weather…but I am hopeful our numbers will continue to grow. Come for the golf, the chance to hang out
with your buddies, and maybe some hockey or cards afterward. Plus we have two hole in one pots, one capped
at $1616 and the other growing to $581 as of last week.
Friday, April 20, 2012
Mens' Night begins April 25th
Last year we had nineteen Mens' Nights after a June 1st start. With our opening night next Wednesday, April 25th, we have six extra nights at our disposal. I even did a double take when I checked the calendar. There are actually five Wednesdays in May.
The weather forecast definitely looks promising for next week with a sunny day in the mid teens being projected. The golf forecast looks equally promising. If you think about it, it's like the first day of school...but for middle aged men. Like many others, I will likely be too excited the night before to get any sleep. Then the next day, instead of moms dropping off Kindergarten children, wives and girlfriends will drop off their charges for Mens’ Night...wishing them luck and telling them to try their best. Like elementary students, we will show up with our new bags, albeit golf bags instead of knapsacks. Some of us will have new shoes and new golf clothes. Everyone will be filled with promise, whether it is because of new swing thoughts or new equipment or shiny new balls. There will be smiles and good natured exchanges as people congregate together after a few months apart.
Unlike grade school, there will those aspects that appeal to the older crowd. For example, there will be alcoholic beverages and gambling. There will be some partial nudity and the occasional hooker…but mainly slicers. Speaking of the partial nudity, can we do something about those guys that play topless on the hottest evenings. It is Mens’ Night for god sakes!
Unfortunately, like the school experience of children, the promise of Mens' Night is not realized for everyone. While there will be excitement for many, some golfers may have anxiety about either not being successful or doing something that might be embarrassing. Some of the promise will disappear quickly when the sound of balls leaving clubs is followed by the sounds of balls striking trees and grown men muttering mean-spirited profanities. While some will experience promising beginnings, others will soon realize that this year could be worse than the last one. Like small children, there may be some lying (“I had a seven”) and some temper tantrums (“How come no one gave me that?). Some will throw things…most likely drivers off the eight tee. Some will be oppositional to their teacher, such as when that know-it-all in your foursome starts telling you what you are doing wrong and how you should correct it. The popular kids (John Gill, Blake Hunter) will be envied by the nerdy kids (Neuf, Ronnie Susinski, myself). There may be occasional instances of teasing and bullying (leave Milt alone Kimpinski!). There will be boys who flirt with girls…which is cute when you are in Grade 3, but somewhat creepy when it is a 45 year old guy hitting on a 20 year old cart girl. For those of you such as Brad who likes a woman closer to his age, I can report the return of a certain club house lady from a few years back.
In terms of the golf, the format remains much the same. We will do a shotgun start and then play 9 holes with skins. The maximum hole score of +3 will be sustained to speed up play and minimize low self esteem. The ringer board will continue to be flighted to allow for additional opportunities for prizes. For those of you who weren’t members of the Golf Club last year, we are once again offering half price memberships. This includes unlimited playing privileges on Mens’ Night.
This year, I am going to form an email group comprised of people who would like notifications of blog updates or coming events related to Mens' Night. If you would like to be included in the email group, simply let me know at sdavid@mts.net
One additional thing I would like to encourage is some interaction with the blog...and perhaps field reporting. Feel free to add a comment to any post. As a special incentive, anyone who posts a comment during a given week will be entered into a draw for a free beverage the subsequent Wednesday. Remember to keep the comments tasteful and relatively kind and good natured.
See you Wednesday. I will be the guy sitting outside the Club House waiting for it to open earlier that morning.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
All good things must come to an end...
What a great year for Mens’ Night! Over the course of 19 Wednesdays, we enjoyed some great conditions that translated into the longest season we have had in recent memory. We golfed last night in October on a day when the temperatures were in the high 20’s and the course played like mid-July.
Nineteen golfers competed on an incredibly windy night. Not surprisingly, only two skins were won. Hubey and Butch took $20. on #1 while Brad and Mikey P. cashed in for the same amount on #7. Closest to the pins were Ronnie Susinski on #5 and Brad on #9. There were no twos recorded…although Butch missed a putt for eagle on #1 that would have won him the deuce pot.
Last week, I mistakenly credited Wes Arnfinson with the field report. I found out it was actually Jason Hunter who did it…and he submitted some other updates for this week. Jason seems somewhat obsessed with Dennis Green. One of the first things's he noted was Neuf’s apparent vendetta against Denny’s cart on #4, which he may have hit twice with golf balls. He talked later about how Denny was glad Robin was absent because it saved him money in snips. He also mentioned how Denny is afraid of snakes, describing him as our own Indiana Jones. Saying that Denny fearful of reptiles is unfair as far as I am concerned. Jason needs to know that stating that Denny is like Indiana Jones, Liberace, Elton John and others who fear snakes would seem to make an unfair implication. Mr. Green is a man’s man, who only dyes his hair for theatrical productions, and who is happily married to a much younger woman. Why pick on someone like Denny, when we have others, like that guy who shall remain nameless who is in his mid-thirties and is a confirmed “bachelor” who lived with his parents recently and is a self-professed “bartender”. I am just saying…let’s call a spade a spade and give poor Dennis a break. In last week’s column, Jason was even making fun of Mr. Green’s age. On a positive note, he didn’t take the easy and predictable route of making fun of Denny’s golf game.
Jason also described Bird’s affinity for the wind, noting that our elder statesman scored one of his best rounds of the year despite the extreme gusts. It was also reported that Butch professed his disdain with taking everyone’s money on a weekly basis. Apparently, Mr. Derhak has offered to give any interested parties either golf or poker lessons. Then Jason said something about how Milt was happy to be back despite past blog abuse. I must say, quite frankly, that Mr. Hunter has it all wrong. My blog entries are tributes to Mr. Ostash. I write about him as a child writes about a cherished uncle, with reverence and mild embellishment. I certainly wouldn’t take the mean-spirited approach that some guest contributors take and attack a poor defenseless senior like Dennis Green. Milt deserves to be thanked for his even temperament, good will, and generosity. Heck, last night he bought several rounds for the guys playing cards. In fact, he readily signed over several cheques for skins to help offset the bar tab for those present. Milt Ostash is a saint…and whoever says otherwise I would gladly challenge to a fight on any day in the parking lot. Blake Hunter, Joel Ostash, and I would gladly take on any three of you who want to belittle Milt.
I probably should take a moment to thank Jason for his help, not only with the blog reports, but also the prize presentations after Mens’ Night. Thanks for giving your time to support our fraternal order…in spite of the challenges and frustration you have had with your own golf game for the latter part of this season.
It is with considerable sadness that I sign off for 2011. Thanks to everyone who came out this year. Thanks also to Superintendent Joel Ostash and his crew for ensuring that the course is always in such fine condition. Thanks also to Butch and the Clubhouse staff for taking care of us so well this season.
We will resume Mens’ Night as soon as they allow players on the course in the Spring….which will not be soon enough for most of us.
Nineteen golfers competed on an incredibly windy night. Not surprisingly, only two skins were won. Hubey and Butch took $20. on #1 while Brad and Mikey P. cashed in for the same amount on #7. Closest to the pins were Ronnie Susinski on #5 and Brad on #9. There were no twos recorded…although Butch missed a putt for eagle on #1 that would have won him the deuce pot.
Last week, I mistakenly credited Wes Arnfinson with the field report. I found out it was actually Jason Hunter who did it…and he submitted some other updates for this week. Jason seems somewhat obsessed with Dennis Green. One of the first things's he noted was Neuf’s apparent vendetta against Denny’s cart on #4, which he may have hit twice with golf balls. He talked later about how Denny was glad Robin was absent because it saved him money in snips. He also mentioned how Denny is afraid of snakes, describing him as our own Indiana Jones. Saying that Denny fearful of reptiles is unfair as far as I am concerned. Jason needs to know that stating that Denny is like Indiana Jones, Liberace, Elton John and others who fear snakes would seem to make an unfair implication. Mr. Green is a man’s man, who only dyes his hair for theatrical productions, and who is happily married to a much younger woman. Why pick on someone like Denny, when we have others, like that guy who shall remain nameless who is in his mid-thirties and is a confirmed “bachelor” who lived with his parents recently and is a self-professed “bartender”. I am just saying…let’s call a spade a spade and give poor Dennis a break. In last week’s column, Jason was even making fun of Mr. Green’s age. On a positive note, he didn’t take the easy and predictable route of making fun of Denny’s golf game.
Jason also described Bird’s affinity for the wind, noting that our elder statesman scored one of his best rounds of the year despite the extreme gusts. It was also reported that Butch professed his disdain with taking everyone’s money on a weekly basis. Apparently, Mr. Derhak has offered to give any interested parties either golf or poker lessons. Then Jason said something about how Milt was happy to be back despite past blog abuse. I must say, quite frankly, that Mr. Hunter has it all wrong. My blog entries are tributes to Mr. Ostash. I write about him as a child writes about a cherished uncle, with reverence and mild embellishment. I certainly wouldn’t take the mean-spirited approach that some guest contributors take and attack a poor defenseless senior like Dennis Green. Milt deserves to be thanked for his even temperament, good will, and generosity. Heck, last night he bought several rounds for the guys playing cards. In fact, he readily signed over several cheques for skins to help offset the bar tab for those present. Milt Ostash is a saint…and whoever says otherwise I would gladly challenge to a fight on any day in the parking lot. Blake Hunter, Joel Ostash, and I would gladly take on any three of you who want to belittle Milt.
I probably should take a moment to thank Jason for his help, not only with the blog reports, but also the prize presentations after Mens’ Night. Thanks for giving your time to support our fraternal order…in spite of the challenges and frustration you have had with your own golf game for the latter part of this season.
It is with considerable sadness that I sign off for 2011. Thanks to everyone who came out this year. Thanks also to Superintendent Joel Ostash and his crew for ensuring that the course is always in such fine condition. Thanks also to Butch and the Clubhouse staff for taking care of us so well this season.
We will resume Mens’ Night as soon as they allow players on the course in the Spring….which will not be soon enough for most of us.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Milt is back!
Despite all the talk, by Blake and Neuf, of their great evening of skins, everyone present knew the real story of the night. Milt Ostash was back. After missing 4 or 5 weeks because of injury, hunting, fishing, and fear of competition, Mr. Ostash returned. He returned to regale us of tales of his journeys and exploits over the last month. He filled that gap in all of our lives by talking to himself throughout his round. On a night when Brad Benton struggled with a score in the 40's, Milt reassured us that good golf could still be played by carding a 39. He even managed to record closest to the pin on #9. On behalf of all of us, welcome back Milt. Thanks for bringing the joy back to Mens' Night. The one criticism reported of Milt's return was that he refused to play for money. What the critic missed was Milt's new approach to life and golf. After some time away, he realized it isn't about the gambling...it is about the friendship and man-love. While many of us like to wager and do manly things when we play, Milt showed us that it is okay to just to spend time with the guys he cares about. Great job Milt!
In terms of the actual golfing, Blake and Neuf recorded a one-day season record of three skins on Wednesday, winning a total of $60. for wins on #1, ##4, and #7. Brad Benton and Ken Ostash also cashed in on multiple holes, winning $52. for #6 and #9. The deuce pot was won by Robin Kimpinski with the other closest to the pin going to Benton on #5.
I didn't golf myself, but someone was kind enough to leave a written report. I suspect it was Wes, because of the use of capital letters plus the glowing praise for Wes. The report stated that "Wes had an all world par on #1". It continued to describe two tee shots in the bush followed by a third shot out and a fourth into the hole. Certainly impressive...but all-world? In other news, it was reported that Neuf had a laser-guided eagle on #4, chipping in from well off the green. It was said that if it did not hit the pin, his shot likely would have stopped in the middle of the eight fairway. The field reporter also stated that the area adjacent to the eight tee was completely dry, yet there was no sign of Hubey's driver.
This coming Wednesday will be our final mens' night of the year. It is also the 18th time we have had the good fortune to get together on a Wednesday this year...which has to be close to an all-time record. To help toast this successful season, every golfer who shows up will get a complimentary beverage of their choice. The last thing the field reporter said was worth noting. While the comment reeks of ageism and disrespect to our elders, it is still quite fitting. The anonymous writer said "Most of us will only hope to live long enough to see another Mens' Night in October...right Denny and Bird".
Have fun on Wednesday. Remember that you may tee off with your group any time after 5:00 pm. While I need to be at the football game and will miss the golfing, I will be there later for the free drink.
In terms of the actual golfing, Blake and Neuf recorded a one-day season record of three skins on Wednesday, winning a total of $60. for wins on #1, ##4, and #7. Brad Benton and Ken Ostash also cashed in on multiple holes, winning $52. for #6 and #9. The deuce pot was won by Robin Kimpinski with the other closest to the pin going to Benton on #5.
I didn't golf myself, but someone was kind enough to leave a written report. I suspect it was Wes, because of the use of capital letters plus the glowing praise for Wes. The report stated that "Wes had an all world par on #1". It continued to describe two tee shots in the bush followed by a third shot out and a fourth into the hole. Certainly impressive...but all-world? In other news, it was reported that Neuf had a laser-guided eagle on #4, chipping in from well off the green. It was said that if it did not hit the pin, his shot likely would have stopped in the middle of the eight fairway. The field reporter also stated that the area adjacent to the eight tee was completely dry, yet there was no sign of Hubey's driver.
This coming Wednesday will be our final mens' night of the year. It is also the 18th time we have had the good fortune to get together on a Wednesday this year...which has to be close to an all-time record. To help toast this successful season, every golfer who shows up will get a complimentary beverage of their choice. The last thing the field reporter said was worth noting. While the comment reeks of ageism and disrespect to our elders, it is still quite fitting. The anonymous writer said "Most of us will only hope to live long enough to see another Mens' Night in October...right Denny and Bird".
Have fun on Wednesday. Remember that you may tee off with your group any time after 5:00 pm. While I need to be at the football game and will miss the golfing, I will be there later for the free drink.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
The merits of cold weather golf
Neither the cold nor the encroaching darkness to deter the brave men from their task. No matter what, they would band together to ensure that the golf season was extended as far into September as possible. Interestingly, I am writing about our cool Mens' Nite on Wednesday in the middle of an incredibly nice weekend of weather. But I already decided that was going to be the topic, so go with me on this one.
So back to where I started...golfing when the conditions are less than perfect. Most of us would agree that cold weather golf is better than no golf at all. Soon, many of us will be hanging up the golf shoes for the winter. Our golf clubs will find a spot in our garage or basement, waiting until we dust them off in the spring. So we should be grateful that the pins are still in the ground and the clubhouse is still open. We need to take advantage of every opportunity to fire up our golf carts and head down that first fairway...before it is covered with snow.
If you think of it, cold weather actually has its benefits. For one, you can wear stylish jackets, toques, gloves, scarves, and jeans while playing. You also don't get delayed by having to stay at home to finish cutting your lawn. The cold weather makes for excellent conversation during the round. In fact, in my own group, I think I heard people say "Man it's cold out tonight" at least seven times. This is especially helpful when you are golfing with people with whom you have nothing in common. Doctors even claim that cold weather boosts your metabolism as your body tries to stay warm. Who would have thought driving around on a golf cart while drinking could actually help you lose weight. Also, lost in the complaints of the frigid temperature was an awareness of the absence of insects. No one complained about mosquitoes, and people were able to look for their errant shots without fear of wood ticks. Heck, if was any colder last Wednesday, Hubey could have walked on the frozen marsh beside #8 to retrieve his club toss from earlier this year.
When all was said and done, eighteen guys showed up and enjoyed a fun evening of golf. Butch seemed to benefit the most from the conditions, winning a skin, getting closest to the pin, and scoring a deuce. He was closest on #5 while Les Grills was best on #9. Mr. Grills also converted his shot for a deuce. Butch split a skin with Darcy Kowalchuk ($24.50 on #6) while Brad and Denny cashed in on #7 for $20.
It was strange to finish the golf and the prizes and see that it was still only 8:30 am. Despite the fact that it was still early, many of our senior golfers went home right away...likely because of arthritic pain caused by the coolness. Ron Susinski demonstrated the benefit of filling an aging body with antifreeze during a cold round. Not only did he shoot well, but he didn't feel the arthritis in his old bones and was able to stay up past 10:00 pm playing cards and visiting with his younger friends.
The forecast for this week looks much better. While it will be warmer it will be getting darker earlier. Therefore, we will try a slightly different format. You and your group may tee off any time after 5:00 pm. Simply pick up your scorecards at the club house and start your round. Given the projected sunset, we recommend no one begins later than 6:00 pm...or you may be playing the last few holes by sound. For you old guys, it may go below 20 Celcius during the round, so pack some extra antifreeze...and maybe a few Alleve for when you start to stiffen up.
So back to where I started...golfing when the conditions are less than perfect. Most of us would agree that cold weather golf is better than no golf at all. Soon, many of us will be hanging up the golf shoes for the winter. Our golf clubs will find a spot in our garage or basement, waiting until we dust them off in the spring. So we should be grateful that the pins are still in the ground and the clubhouse is still open. We need to take advantage of every opportunity to fire up our golf carts and head down that first fairway...before it is covered with snow.
If you think of it, cold weather actually has its benefits. For one, you can wear stylish jackets, toques, gloves, scarves, and jeans while playing. You also don't get delayed by having to stay at home to finish cutting your lawn. The cold weather makes for excellent conversation during the round. In fact, in my own group, I think I heard people say "Man it's cold out tonight" at least seven times. This is especially helpful when you are golfing with people with whom you have nothing in common. Doctors even claim that cold weather boosts your metabolism as your body tries to stay warm. Who would have thought driving around on a golf cart while drinking could actually help you lose weight. Also, lost in the complaints of the frigid temperature was an awareness of the absence of insects. No one complained about mosquitoes, and people were able to look for their errant shots without fear of wood ticks. Heck, if was any colder last Wednesday, Hubey could have walked on the frozen marsh beside #8 to retrieve his club toss from earlier this year.
When all was said and done, eighteen guys showed up and enjoyed a fun evening of golf. Butch seemed to benefit the most from the conditions, winning a skin, getting closest to the pin, and scoring a deuce. He was closest on #5 while Les Grills was best on #9. Mr. Grills also converted his shot for a deuce. Butch split a skin with Darcy Kowalchuk ($24.50 on #6) while Brad and Denny cashed in on #7 for $20.
It was strange to finish the golf and the prizes and see that it was still only 8:30 am. Despite the fact that it was still early, many of our senior golfers went home right away...likely because of arthritic pain caused by the coolness. Ron Susinski demonstrated the benefit of filling an aging body with antifreeze during a cold round. Not only did he shoot well, but he didn't feel the arthritis in his old bones and was able to stay up past 10:00 pm playing cards and visiting with his younger friends.
The forecast for this week looks much better. While it will be warmer it will be getting darker earlier. Therefore, we will try a slightly different format. You and your group may tee off any time after 5:00 pm. Simply pick up your scorecards at the club house and start your round. Given the projected sunset, we recommend no one begins later than 6:00 pm...or you may be playing the last few holes by sound. For you old guys, it may go below 20 Celcius during the round, so pack some extra antifreeze...and maybe a few Alleve for when you start to stiffen up.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Still golfing!
Fourteen golfers showed up for Mens' Night...extending our season later than it has been in recent years. This fact is made even more exciting given that we are planning on going again tomorrow night. Apparently many of our farmer friends are completing their work, so our hope is that we might get 20 golfers. The forecast looks reasonable…just make sure to come early given the projected sunset of 7:45 pm. You might consider having your group start at 6:00 pm.
I will apologize in advance for the short blog entry. This was another week that I was unavailable for mens’ night so I have little news to share. Plus I just got the box of materials from Blake yesterday. On a positive note, my meetings next year have been moved from Wednesday to Thursday so there will be no more conflicts.
This past week, two teams won skins on the first four holes. Kelly and John Derhak won skins on #1 and 4 ($15.50 and $75.50) while Neuf and Gab Huberdeau cashed in on #2 and 3 ($24.50 for each hole). Closest to the pins were Benton on #5 and Neuf on #9. Interestingly, there has not been a deuce in a couple of weeks.
Given that it will probably snow soon, I encourage everyone to take advantage of our extended season and get out tomorrow. The first ten golfers to sign up will have an opportunity to get their picture taken with celebrities including Councilor Dennis Green and local insurance magnate Robin Kimpinski. Participants must bring their own camera, make their own arrangements with the celebrities, and take their own pictures. No guarantees are expressed or implied by Lakeside Golf Course regarding the willingness of local celebrities to participate. Anyone choosing to participate in the photo op agrees to absolve the golf club of any liability in the event that any of the celebrities causes them physical or psychological harm during the picture-taking process.
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I will apologize in advance for the short blog entry. This was another week that I was unavailable for mens’ night so I have little news to share. Plus I just got the box of materials from Blake yesterday. On a positive note, my meetings next year have been moved from Wednesday to Thursday so there will be no more conflicts.
This past week, two teams won skins on the first four holes. Kelly and John Derhak won skins on #1 and 4 ($15.50 and $75.50) while Neuf and Gab Huberdeau cashed in on #2 and 3 ($24.50 for each hole). Closest to the pins were Benton on #5 and Neuf on #9. Interestingly, there has not been a deuce in a couple of weeks.
Given that it will probably snow soon, I encourage everyone to take advantage of our extended season and get out tomorrow. The first ten golfers to sign up will have an opportunity to get their picture taken with celebrities including Councilor Dennis Green and local insurance magnate Robin Kimpinski. Participants must bring their own camera, make their own arrangements with the celebrities, and take their own pictures. No guarantees are expressed or implied by Lakeside Golf Course regarding the willingness of local celebrities to participate. Anyone choosing to participate in the photo op agrees to absolve the golf club of any liability in the event that any of the celebrities causes them physical or psychological harm during the picture-taking process.
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Sunday, September 11, 2011
It is getting dark earlier
Seventeen golfers enjoyed incredible September temperatures...before racing to finish as the sun set quickly. My group was delayed starting so we finished in the dark. The great weather meant perfect conditions for both golf and combining, hence the low numbers.
There wasn't much news reported on a relatively quiet evening. Four guys from Birtle came to bolster our numbers. Hubey scored better this week without his driver than with it last week. For the first time in quite a while, Blake was the lowest scoring Hunter. It doesn't matter that Austin and Theoren skipped golf for hockey.
It was a cheap night with only two skins being won. Hubey and Brad claimed $20 on #7 while Scott Maynes and Devin Bell cashed in for $47 on #8. The closest to the pins were Maynes on #5 and Neuf on #9. Neither made their putt and no one else made a deuce on the evening.
As stated previously, Mens' Night continues until we drop below the requisite 12 golfers. This week, it will be a 6:00 pm start time. There will likely be a $75-80 skin on #4, so come on out and try your luck.
There wasn't much news reported on a relatively quiet evening. Four guys from Birtle came to bolster our numbers. Hubey scored better this week without his driver than with it last week. For the first time in quite a while, Blake was the lowest scoring Hunter. It doesn't matter that Austin and Theoren skipped golf for hockey.
It was a cheap night with only two skins being won. Hubey and Brad claimed $20 on #7 while Scott Maynes and Devin Bell cashed in for $47 on #8. The closest to the pins were Maynes on #5 and Neuf on #9. Neither made their putt and no one else made a deuce on the evening.
As stated previously, Mens' Night continues until we drop below the requisite 12 golfers. This week, it will be a 6:00 pm start time. There will likely be a $75-80 skin on #4, so come on out and try your luck.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
1st Annual Lakeside Club Toss
On the heels of the successful Horse Race tournament, Hubey introduced a new event...the Lakeside Club Toss. After mounting frustration from earlier drives, Hubey's tee shot resulted in a short pop up into the bushes beside the eight tee box. While the drive only went about 40 feet, the driver went about 60, as Hubey fired it into the bog to the left. Witnessing this act of exasperation was Jason Hunter. When asked for a comment, Mr. Hunter said that Hubey's club toss was the second best of the six he had seen this year. He stated the best so far was Chris Hyrsak's from earlier. While Hubey definitely put full effort into his throw, he didn't accentuate his toss with the string of colourful profanities as did Chris. Also, Hubey followed up with how he needed a new driver anyway. Chris' follow-up, on the other hand, referenced his hatred for the game of golf, the local course, and his playing partners. Chris also suggested that he might never golf again following his throw.
Playing with Chris Kimpinski, I watched his masterful course management for most of the round. He consistently makes good decisions, disregarding the temptation to hit long in favour of accuracy and positioning. On seven, for example, he stated at the tee box that he intended to hit seven iron, seven iron, wedge...which he did. He hit the first seven iron in front of the bushes, the second over the slew to 150 yard...and then the wheels fell off. Instead of hitting the green with his approach, he decided to hit it toward his camper in the OB area to the right. On a positive note, many of the errant shots like his will end up on his new property, so he will get lots of free balls in the future. Unfortunately, his was not one of those that he could find.
To be fair to Chris, he was not the only one experiencing trouble. I played with him and he constantly complimented me on my nice drives...but usually after I messed up on the rest of the hole. For example, my drive on #1 went to the rough behind the green. Despite being 20 feet from the pin, I finished with a five, including a double hit on the first chip. I think he gave me three or four of these "nice drive, too bad about the rest of the hole" compliments the rest of the way. Consequently, I will admit that I felt a bit of karmic pleasure as his ball sailed towards his camper later in the round. Ironically, Hubey complemented me as well, but not in the same sarcastic way. Despite this, I also enjoyed his club toss on #8. Such is the nature of golf, I guess...we congratulate our friends on their success while secretly envying them...and we offer them verbal condolences for their misfortune while quietly celebrating that our score improves relative to them. The exception here would be the wonder twins, Robin and Brad. When they compliment you it is heart felt. Plus, they rip your bad shots with the same earnestness.
While there were only eighteen golfers, skins went on only four holes. It wasn't because of a bunch of ties and pushes. The lack of winners related to the fact that on the other 5 holes there were very few cumulative pars. The winners included Robin and new guy from Carman, Steve Heatherington ($20 on #1), Chris K. and Hubey ($20 on #5), Stephen and Wes ($20 on #6), and Clayton Bomack and Austin ($38.50 on #9). Closest to the pins were Jason Hunter on #5 and Stephen David on #9. Both missed their putts which partially explained why there were no deuces on the evening.
As stated last week, we are going to stick with mens' night until we no longer have enough golfers to sustain it. The first week we cannot make the required 12 will be the final evening for the year. I am excited to say that next week will mark our first foray into September in recent years. Start thinking about how you will play #4, given the skin there will be worth $70 or so. Remember to come early, because even the 6:30 pm start is getting tight.
Playing with Chris Kimpinski, I watched his masterful course management for most of the round. He consistently makes good decisions, disregarding the temptation to hit long in favour of accuracy and positioning. On seven, for example, he stated at the tee box that he intended to hit seven iron, seven iron, wedge...which he did. He hit the first seven iron in front of the bushes, the second over the slew to 150 yard...and then the wheels fell off. Instead of hitting the green with his approach, he decided to hit it toward his camper in the OB area to the right. On a positive note, many of the errant shots like his will end up on his new property, so he will get lots of free balls in the future. Unfortunately, his was not one of those that he could find.
To be fair to Chris, he was not the only one experiencing trouble. I played with him and he constantly complimented me on my nice drives...but usually after I messed up on the rest of the hole. For example, my drive on #1 went to the rough behind the green. Despite being 20 feet from the pin, I finished with a five, including a double hit on the first chip. I think he gave me three or four of these "nice drive, too bad about the rest of the hole" compliments the rest of the way. Consequently, I will admit that I felt a bit of karmic pleasure as his ball sailed towards his camper later in the round. Ironically, Hubey complemented me as well, but not in the same sarcastic way. Despite this, I also enjoyed his club toss on #8. Such is the nature of golf, I guess...we congratulate our friends on their success while secretly envying them...and we offer them verbal condolences for their misfortune while quietly celebrating that our score improves relative to them. The exception here would be the wonder twins, Robin and Brad. When they compliment you it is heart felt. Plus, they rip your bad shots with the same earnestness.
While there were only eighteen golfers, skins went on only four holes. It wasn't because of a bunch of ties and pushes. The lack of winners related to the fact that on the other 5 holes there were very few cumulative pars. The winners included Robin and new guy from Carman, Steve Heatherington ($20 on #1), Chris K. and Hubey ($20 on #5), Stephen and Wes ($20 on #6), and Clayton Bomack and Austin ($38.50 on #9). Closest to the pins were Jason Hunter on #5 and Stephen David on #9. Both missed their putts which partially explained why there were no deuces on the evening.
As stated last week, we are going to stick with mens' night until we no longer have enough golfers to sustain it. The first week we cannot make the required 12 will be the final evening for the year. I am excited to say that next week will mark our first foray into September in recent years. Start thinking about how you will play #4, given the skin there will be worth $70 or so. Remember to come early, because even the 6:30 pm start is getting tight.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
No news is good news
I will start by apologizing for the delay in getting the blog updated. I was away for a bit and just got the mens' night box from Wes. I will then apologize for not having any news about last week, given that I was absent. But like I said in the title, no news can be good news, especially if you are one of the guys regularly featured in the column. What follows is one part factual, as I recount the winners and scores, and one part speculation, as I imagine what happened in my absence.
Where to start? Okay, there were 25 golfers who battled it out with skins eventually being won on six of nine holes. Like last week, the Hunter family stole the show, with each of the three of them cashing in somewhere. The winners included Blake Hunter and Robin ($20 on #1), Jason Gorrell and Ken Stewart ($20 on #2 and $29.50 on #5), Theoren Hunter and Wes Arnfinson ($20 on #3), Steven Shackel and Chris Hyrsak ($51 on #6), and Scott Maynes and Austin Hunter ($20 on #7). Three golfers split the $36 deuce pot including Mike Pryzner, Scott Maynes, and John Derhak. Closest to the pins were Jason Gorell on #5 and Scott Maynes on #9. Noteworthy rounds of the evening included 39's by Scott and Robin.
Now for the speculation. Let me see, Milt likely talked to himself while Robin and Brad berated him while occasionally inisting that he bought another round. Blake probably felt both pride and jealousy as his two sons played well again. The guys from Oak Lake would have had fun and guys from Shoal Lake would have promised to go down to their next mens' night. Given that the middle score was a 48, I also assume people complained about how bad their luck was...despite shooting essentially the same as they do every week. Later guys played poker, during which Milt would have talked to himself and Wes maybe took 3-4 minutes pretending to play hands which he eventually folded. All the card players felt they had a chance to win, given that I wasn't there. At the end of the evening, I imagine there was hugs and heartfelt good wishes, as the late nighters went home to wake their wives to tell them about Mens' Night.
Here's hoping we get another 25 or so tomorrow night. See you at 6:30 pm if you can make it.
Where to start? Okay, there were 25 golfers who battled it out with skins eventually being won on six of nine holes. Like last week, the Hunter family stole the show, with each of the three of them cashing in somewhere. The winners included Blake Hunter and Robin ($20 on #1), Jason Gorrell and Ken Stewart ($20 on #2 and $29.50 on #5), Theoren Hunter and Wes Arnfinson ($20 on #3), Steven Shackel and Chris Hyrsak ($51 on #6), and Scott Maynes and Austin Hunter ($20 on #7). Three golfers split the $36 deuce pot including Mike Pryzner, Scott Maynes, and John Derhak. Closest to the pins were Jason Gorell on #5 and Scott Maynes on #9. Noteworthy rounds of the evening included 39's by Scott and Robin.
Now for the speculation. Let me see, Milt likely talked to himself while Robin and Brad berated him while occasionally inisting that he bought another round. Blake probably felt both pride and jealousy as his two sons played well again. The guys from Oak Lake would have had fun and guys from Shoal Lake would have promised to go down to their next mens' night. Given that the middle score was a 48, I also assume people complained about how bad their luck was...despite shooting essentially the same as they do every week. Later guys played poker, during which Milt would have talked to himself and Wes maybe took 3-4 minutes pretending to play hands which he eventually folded. All the card players felt they had a chance to win, given that I wasn't there. At the end of the evening, I imagine there was hugs and heartfelt good wishes, as the late nighters went home to wake their wives to tell them about Mens' Night.
Here's hoping we get another 25 or so tomorrow night. See you at 6:30 pm if you can make it.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Night of the Hunter
You have already heard about the trials and tribulations of Blake Hunter...a man who had been previously schooled by his eldest son Austin. This past Wednesday, it was middle son Theoren's chance to show up his old man. Theoren shot a blistering 41, including a shot to a couple of feet on #5 which resulted in the only deuce of the evening.
Skins went on four holes. The winners were Ron Susinski and Doug Brown ($20 on #1), Sport and Jason Hunter ($20 on #2), Les Grills and Blake ($20 on #3), and Brad Benton and Dyson Solomon ($20 on #7). Theoren's previously mentioned shot on #5 was closest on that hole. The other closest to the pin for the evening was Dale Watson on #9.
That's essentially all that I had reported to me for this week. While I was absent I did hear that the 36 golfers in attendance enjoyed reasonable conditions. There were some new guys, including one unfortunate gentleman who did not know about the maximum triple bogey rule. His score of 63 was achieved honestly, through his own hard work and effort.
Mens' Night will continue until it is no longer reasonable to do so. Our rules state that it only requires 12 golfers to run the evening. Generally, when we get close to that number we shut it down for the season. Since our attendance is still good, we hope to continue on into September.
Have fun this week. My Board meetings resume so I will be otherwise committed.
Skins went on four holes. The winners were Ron Susinski and Doug Brown ($20 on #1), Sport and Jason Hunter ($20 on #2), Les Grills and Blake ($20 on #3), and Brad Benton and Dyson Solomon ($20 on #7). Theoren's previously mentioned shot on #5 was closest on that hole. The other closest to the pin for the evening was Dale Watson on #9.
That's essentially all that I had reported to me for this week. While I was absent I did hear that the 36 golfers in attendance enjoyed reasonable conditions. There were some new guys, including one unfortunate gentleman who did not know about the maximum triple bogey rule. His score of 63 was achieved honestly, through his own hard work and effort.
Mens' Night will continue until it is no longer reasonable to do so. Our rules state that it only requires 12 golfers to run the evening. Generally, when we get close to that number we shut it down for the season. Since our attendance is still good, we hope to continue on into September.
Have fun this week. My Board meetings resume so I will be otherwise committed.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Horse Race tournament
The first annual horse race tournament was held on August 13th. Twenty two golfers played an 18 hole qualifying event before being split into two flights for the horse race. During the second portion of the event, eleven guys teed off on the first hole, with the highest score being eliminated each hole until one man remained.
After the horse race portion was completed, the top three finshers in each pool were awarded prizes. Robin Kimpinski won the first flight, with Darcy Kowalchuk as runner-up, and Phil Ostash in third. Escape artist Wes Arnfinson claimed top spot in the second flight, with Doug Koroscil placing second, and Tim from Winnipeg coming in third.
It is worth noting that we held a calcutta in conjunction with the horse race. Those in attendance bid on the golfers that they thought would be most successful. When the final tally was completed, the total bids surpassed $1300. Interestingly, the prizes for the top 3 calcutta picks in each pool exceeded the prize money for the actual winners.
Thanks to Scott Maynes for his great work in planning and organizing this event. Like many others, I can't wait for the second installment next year.
After the horse race portion was completed, the top three finshers in each pool were awarded prizes. Robin Kimpinski won the first flight, with Darcy Kowalchuk as runner-up, and Phil Ostash in third. Escape artist Wes Arnfinson claimed top spot in the second flight, with Doug Koroscil placing second, and Tim from Winnipeg coming in third.
It is worth noting that we held a calcutta in conjunction with the horse race. Those in attendance bid on the golfers that they thought would be most successful. When the final tally was completed, the total bids surpassed $1300. Interestingly, the prizes for the top 3 calcutta picks in each pool exceeded the prize money for the actual winners.
Thanks to Scott Maynes for his great work in planning and organizing this event. Like many others, I can't wait for the second installment next year.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Greatest skin ever!
Let's cut to the chase. After almost two months without a winner, the skin on the ninth hole finally went. The combined score of 5 by Keith Booth and Charlie McNabb was good enough to capture the elusive prize which grew to a nice $210.50. The Booth / McNabb connection also grabbed the skin for #3, adding another $43 to their winnings. With his two on #9, Mr. Booth also split a deuce pot worth $64.50 with Robin Kimpinski, who scored his two on the fifth hole.
Other skins for the evening went to Ron Susinski and Lawrence Daniel ($21.50 on #1 and $21.50 on #7), Cody Cornwall and Randy Tully ($43 on #2), Robin and Keith Martin ($21.50 on #5), and Scott Maynes and Milt ($43 on #8). Closest to the pin winners were Joel Ostash on #5 and Mike McLennan on #9.
For the second consecutive week, we had the unusual combination of great conditions and high scores. The sound of golf balls hitting trees echoed from all directions...with Milt contributing greatly to this symphony of thermoplastic on wood. He hit so many trees that Charlie McNabb's group playing behind was held up on almost every hole. Charlie took it well however...his frustration likely tempered by the $125 in winnings in his pocket.
The Ringer Board also wrapped up this week. Robin Kimpinski won the first flight with a -9, followed by Scott Maynes' -6 and Brad Benton's -5. I placed first in the second flight, followed by Keith Martin in second place. Scores for the second flight were unavailable at press time.
Mens' Nite will continue through August and perhaps into September depending on the availability of our friends in the agricultural business. Thanks in advance to the previously mentioned Brad Benton, who has agreed to run the show next week. Don't forget the 6:30 pm start time for the rest of the year.
I have reflected a lot recently about how certain people (such as Milt) are mentioned more often than others in the blog. The simply fact is that the people I note are often those with whom I golf...and Milt is a regular partner. Other than Mike Susinski suggesting things to write about Wes, I rarely get any other field reports. Given that I will be away the next two weeks, make sure to give your blog ideas to Mr. Benton.
I suggested that we move to Thursday nights in 2012...mainly for personal reasons given my frequent conflicts on Wednesdays. I would like to stay involved in running Mens' Nite and writing the blog...but it will be tough if I miss eight Wednesdays as I did this year. Give it some thought and we can discuss it further before the end of the year.
Other skins for the evening went to Ron Susinski and Lawrence Daniel ($21.50 on #1 and $21.50 on #7), Cody Cornwall and Randy Tully ($43 on #2), Robin and Keith Martin ($21.50 on #5), and Scott Maynes and Milt ($43 on #8). Closest to the pin winners were Joel Ostash on #5 and Mike McLennan on #9.
For the second consecutive week, we had the unusual combination of great conditions and high scores. The sound of golf balls hitting trees echoed from all directions...with Milt contributing greatly to this symphony of thermoplastic on wood. He hit so many trees that Charlie McNabb's group playing behind was held up on almost every hole. Charlie took it well however...his frustration likely tempered by the $125 in winnings in his pocket.
The Ringer Board also wrapped up this week. Robin Kimpinski won the first flight with a -9, followed by Scott Maynes' -6 and Brad Benton's -5. I placed first in the second flight, followed by Keith Martin in second place. Scores for the second flight were unavailable at press time.
Mens' Nite will continue through August and perhaps into September depending on the availability of our friends in the agricultural business. Thanks in advance to the previously mentioned Brad Benton, who has agreed to run the show next week. Don't forget the 6:30 pm start time for the rest of the year.
I have reflected a lot recently about how certain people (such as Milt) are mentioned more often than others in the blog. The simply fact is that the people I note are often those with whom I golf...and Milt is a regular partner. Other than Mike Susinski suggesting things to write about Wes, I rarely get any other field reports. Given that I will be away the next two weeks, make sure to give your blog ideas to Mr. Benton.
I suggested that we move to Thursday nights in 2012...mainly for personal reasons given my frequent conflicts on Wednesdays. I would like to stay involved in running Mens' Nite and writing the blog...but it will be tough if I miss eight Wednesdays as I did this year. Give it some thought and we can discuss it further before the end of the year.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Karma can be funny...and somewhat cruel
Forty-four golfers enjoyed beautiful weather and an evening of karmic occurrences. Despite seemingly perfect conditions, high scores abounded, with many golfers venturing into the unfamiliar scoring territory of high 40's and low 50's. Most of those whose scores were elevated have been mean to Milt in the past...so you see what I mean by the karma thing. Strangely enough, Brad and Robin did not score in the 60's...given their history of abuse toward Mr. Ostash.
One of the nicest guys in the Shoal Lake area, Mr. John Gill, shot his lowest score since 1978, and shared the deuce pot with Cody Cornwall. This is the way karma works...with good things happening to good people.
Another renowned nice guy, Chris Kimpinski, had a funny experience with karma...which you will have to ask him about privately. He will likely relate how quickly karma can come back at you.
The closest to the pin awards could not have worked out better...or more karmic. The previously mentioned John Gill, who lives closest to #9, claimed the prize there. And Robin Kimpinski, who is one of the few male golfers who regularly dyes his hair, won the Trendsetters prize for closest on #5.
So the message here is obviously two-fold. Firstly, remember what goes around comes around, and, secondly, don't be mean to Milt. He is a nice guy and he has great hair and his talking to himself can be somewhat charming under the right conditions. It would be great if someone told Terri I wrote this because this karma thing has me spooked...and I don't want to shoot another 48 next week.
In other, non-karmic news, skins went on five holes. The winners included Jason Hunter and Cody Cornwall ($21.50 on #1), Brad Benton and Nick Gill ($41 on #4), Joel Ostash and Austin Hunter ($99 on #5), Rob Eastcott and Wes Arnfinson ($175 on #6), and Robin Kimpinski and Mike Susinski ($77 on #7). There were some murmurs that sandbagging may be occurring. While making his regular weekly review of the scorecards, our in-house auditor noticed several guys in the high pot followed birdies with a string of maximums. It is even being suggested that Wes Arnfinson will be investigated. After several well-scored holes, he lost five balls off the tee on holes #1 through #3. This is a glaring discrepancy given Wes' straight ball flight and high percentage of fairways in regulation. We will await the word from Chris Kimpinski to see where this all ends up.
What else do we have? Austin Hunter self-reported that he went over the trees on #7 with his tee shot. Austin also told me that his dad Blake was seven off the tee on #3. A word of advice to Blake would be not to try and swing harder when you play with longer hitters. It can mess up your tempo. Blake was nice enough to bring a guest from Roblin. He spent the evening golfing with him, let him join us for some cards, and then let the guy go swimming off his boat at 2:00 am.
Scott Maynes proved himself not only a fine golfer but an able-bodied Mens' Night organizer and presenter. Thanks to Scott for your help this week as well as next week, when my two colleagues are away.
With the shortening days, we will be rolling back the tee time to 6:30 pm starting next week. For those of you enticed by the possibility of cash prizes, the skin for #9 will be well over $200. And there is always that nice little hole-in-one prize.
One of the nicest guys in the Shoal Lake area, Mr. John Gill, shot his lowest score since 1978, and shared the deuce pot with Cody Cornwall. This is the way karma works...with good things happening to good people.
Another renowned nice guy, Chris Kimpinski, had a funny experience with karma...which you will have to ask him about privately. He will likely relate how quickly karma can come back at you.
The closest to the pin awards could not have worked out better...or more karmic. The previously mentioned John Gill, who lives closest to #9, claimed the prize there. And Robin Kimpinski, who is one of the few male golfers who regularly dyes his hair, won the Trendsetters prize for closest on #5.
So the message here is obviously two-fold. Firstly, remember what goes around comes around, and, secondly, don't be mean to Milt. He is a nice guy and he has great hair and his talking to himself can be somewhat charming under the right conditions. It would be great if someone told Terri I wrote this because this karma thing has me spooked...and I don't want to shoot another 48 next week.
In other, non-karmic news, skins went on five holes. The winners included Jason Hunter and Cody Cornwall ($21.50 on #1), Brad Benton and Nick Gill ($41 on #4), Joel Ostash and Austin Hunter ($99 on #5), Rob Eastcott and Wes Arnfinson ($175 on #6), and Robin Kimpinski and Mike Susinski ($77 on #7). There were some murmurs that sandbagging may be occurring. While making his regular weekly review of the scorecards, our in-house auditor noticed several guys in the high pot followed birdies with a string of maximums. It is even being suggested that Wes Arnfinson will be investigated. After several well-scored holes, he lost five balls off the tee on holes #1 through #3. This is a glaring discrepancy given Wes' straight ball flight and high percentage of fairways in regulation. We will await the word from Chris Kimpinski to see where this all ends up.
What else do we have? Austin Hunter self-reported that he went over the trees on #7 with his tee shot. Austin also told me that his dad Blake was seven off the tee on #3. A word of advice to Blake would be not to try and swing harder when you play with longer hitters. It can mess up your tempo. Blake was nice enough to bring a guest from Roblin. He spent the evening golfing with him, let him join us for some cards, and then let the guy go swimming off his boat at 2:00 am.
Scott Maynes proved himself not only a fine golfer but an able-bodied Mens' Night organizer and presenter. Thanks to Scott for your help this week as well as next week, when my two colleagues are away.
With the shortening days, we will be rolling back the tee time to 6:30 pm starting next week. For those of you enticed by the possibility of cash prizes, the skin for #9 will be well over $200. And there is always that nice little hole-in-one prize.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Another dull evening of mens' golf
It was extremely quiet at Mens' Night yesterday. Golf was enjoyed with reasonable conditions and absolutely nothing controversial occurred in the club house afterwards. Given how dull an evening it was, I will be forced to just report about the golf. Also, I have been advised to stop mentioning Milt in my posts...so you can expect them to be shorter in future weeks. I was also asked not to mention the three balls that one guy shanked into the trees from the middle of the fairway on #8. So, as I already said...it's going to be just simple golf reporting today.
The story of this other wards slow evening would have to be Scott Maynes' scintillating score of 32. This was the lowest at Mens' Night in almost 10 years, since Jason Warwick's 31. Scott's playing partners reported that he was dropping 20 foot putts at will. That must be cool. I turned a three foot putt on #9 into a five foot putt followed by another two foot putt. Scotty also jumped to second place in the ringer board, vaulted to top spot in the season money list, and broke the record for most chicken wings eaten with 47.
Thirty nine golfers competed for skins with four teams winning holes. The lucky hackers included Phil Ostash and Gary Kurtz ($20 on #1), Sport and Cody Cornwall ($20 on #2), Maynes and Ronnie Susinski ($57.50 on #3), and Brad Benton and Blake Cramer ($77.50 on #8). The closest to the pins were Keith Martin on #5 and the aforementioned Mr. Benton on #9. The deuce pot of $58.50 was split by Mike Pryzner and Maynes.
Speaking of Phil Ostash, is it just me or is he looking good lately...all trim and healthy and stuff. Rumours has it that he owes his success to Body by Vi. On the other end of the spectrum is his good pal Benton, who maintains his physique with Body by Di. The first plan involves exercise and healthy food choices highlighted by some delicious meal replacement shakes. The second plan involves a lot of television watching and mainly liquid food choices highlighted by some early morning shakes and loss of vision.
Thanks to Butch for taking care of my steak...and Mr. Gorrell for hosting the fellowship get-together later in the evening.
One final exciting thing to mention... I have a new driver. There will be a viewing session preceding our next Mens' Night during which you may get your picture taken with it. For an extra $5, I will join you in the picture. But you absolutely cannot hit it. Like Wes and his R11...my wife said that I am not allowed to lend it.
The story of this other wards slow evening would have to be Scott Maynes' scintillating score of 32. This was the lowest at Mens' Night in almost 10 years, since Jason Warwick's 31. Scott's playing partners reported that he was dropping 20 foot putts at will. That must be cool. I turned a three foot putt on #9 into a five foot putt followed by another two foot putt. Scotty also jumped to second place in the ringer board, vaulted to top spot in the season money list, and broke the record for most chicken wings eaten with 47.
Thirty nine golfers competed for skins with four teams winning holes. The lucky hackers included Phil Ostash and Gary Kurtz ($20 on #1), Sport and Cody Cornwall ($20 on #2), Maynes and Ronnie Susinski ($57.50 on #3), and Brad Benton and Blake Cramer ($77.50 on #8). The closest to the pins were Keith Martin on #5 and the aforementioned Mr. Benton on #9. The deuce pot of $58.50 was split by Mike Pryzner and Maynes.
Speaking of Phil Ostash, is it just me or is he looking good lately...all trim and healthy and stuff. Rumours has it that he owes his success to Body by Vi. On the other end of the spectrum is his good pal Benton, who maintains his physique with Body by Di. The first plan involves exercise and healthy food choices highlighted by some delicious meal replacement shakes. The second plan involves a lot of television watching and mainly liquid food choices highlighted by some early morning shakes and loss of vision.
One final exciting thing to mention... I have a new driver. There will be a viewing session preceding our next Mens' Night during which you may get your picture taken with it. For an extra $5, I will join you in the picture. But you absolutely cannot hit it. Like Wes and his R11...my wife said that I am not allowed to lend it.
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