Another dull evening of mens' golf

It was extremely quiet at Mens' Night yesterday. Golf was enjoyed with reasonable conditions and absolutely nothing controversial occurred in the club house afterwards. Given how dull an evening it was, I will be forced to just report about the golf. Also, I have been advised to stop mentioning Milt in my posts...so you can expect them to be shorter in future weeks. I was also asked not to mention the three balls that one guy shanked into the trees from the middle of the fairway on #8. So, as I already said...it's going to be just simple golf reporting today.

The story of this other wards slow evening would have to be Scott Maynes' scintillating score of 32. This was the lowest at Mens' Night in almost 10 years, since Jason Warwick's 31. Scott's playing partners reported that he was dropping 20 foot putts at will. That must be cool. I turned a three foot putt on #9 into a five foot putt followed by another two foot putt. Scotty also jumped to second place in the ringer board, vaulted to top spot in the season money list, and broke the record for most chicken wings eaten with 47.

Thirty nine golfers competed for skins with four teams winning holes. The lucky hackers included Phil Ostash and Gary Kurtz ($20 on #1), Sport and Cody Cornwall ($20 on #2), Maynes and Ronnie Susinski ($57.50 on #3), and Brad Benton and Blake Cramer ($77.50 on #8). The closest to the pins were Keith Martin on #5 and the aforementioned Mr. Benton on #9. The deuce pot of $58.50 was split by Mike Pryzner and Maynes.

Speaking of Phil Ostash, is it just me or is he looking good lately...all trim and healthy and stuff. Rumours has it that he owes his success to Body by Vi. On the other end of the spectrum is his good pal Benton, who maintains his physique with Body by Di. The first plan involves exercise and healthy food choices highlighted by some delicious meal replacement shakes. The second plan involves a lot of television watching and mainly liquid food choices highlighted by some early morning shakes and loss of vision.

Thanks to Butch for taking care of my steak...and Mr. Gorrell for hosting the fellowship get-together later in the evening.

One final exciting thing to mention... I have a new driver. There will be a viewing session preceding our next Mens' Night during which you may get your picture taken with it. For an extra $5, I will join you in the picture. But you absolutely cannot hit it. Like Wes and his R11...my wife said that I am not allowed to lend it.

Ringer Board news

Just a reminder that you have three weeks to submit your ringer board scores.  The final night for submission is August 11th.

Did anyone else notice it was windy?

I write this on a relatively cool Thursday morning...in a week in which we had a humidex in the mid 40's, some heavy thunder showers, and lots of heat.  So it was not surpising to have incredibly windy conditions for Mens' Night. How windy was it you ask? Well there were hats flying off heads around the golf course for starters. It was an all around blustery, breezy, blowy, turbulent evening. It was so windy a squirrel that was nesting in Milt's hair jumped off on the fifth hole and landed in Ipswich. It was so windy that it reminded Charlie McNabb and Dave Gill of when they had to walk to school uphill both ways.  Ron Susinki's hair piece blew off on the tee box and it took his group five minutes to find it. It was so windy that people on the corner of Portage and Main were calling to ask for advice. People were hitting driver for their second shot on three and coming up short.  On seven, there were eight and nine iron second shots flying the greens. Jason Gorrell actually had to aim backwards on a couple of holes to work his slice back to the fairway. The lake by number eight claimed more balls than a pool table with a roll to one corner. 

In other Mens' Night news, Neuf had two triples on the seventh hole. He hit three balls into the trees half way up the hole...the first being his tee shot and the next two being the two subsequent attempts to get back into play.  Of course, this all let to his second triple, the requisite Mens' Night triple bogey.  Robin Kimpinski had a round which featured an amazing five birdies but resulted in a score of even par.

There were lots of new guys including visitors from BC and Alberta as well as several members from the local RCMP detachment.  One of those members followed a fine round of golf with a poor game of Texas Hold' Em.  I am assuming he was distracted by the pretty waitress.

My roving field reporter asked me to note the ongoing slow play and intoxication of a certain player, but I refuse to make this blog a place for muck-racking...so that large Icelandic guy shall remain nameless.

Speaking of Icelanders, Wes Arnfinson was closest to the pin for the second week in a row, this time hitting it to twelve feet on nine.  He then three-putted for bogey.  Terry Susinski stuck one tight on #5. Two of the skins were won by John Gill and Wayne Chegwin ($20 on #1) and Bob Gingras and Aaron Short ($20 on #2).  Blake Hunter and Ron Anderson had the big payday of the evening with a skin on #4 that earned them $122.  Blake excitedly spent the next ten minutes telling everyone it was his first skin of the year.  Then when he went to cash his check he noticed that Mr. Anderson had departed.  He was heard uttering a few obscenities as the check was pinned to the bulletin board for next week. The $57 deuce pot was shared by Robin Kimpinski and Brad Swereda. 

Given that I have your attention, I should clarify something that happened at the end of the evening.  When Scott Maynes was leaving I yelled for him not to forget the dress. For the record, the dress in question was one that was being delivered from my wife to Scott's.  I was not referencing Scott's poor hitting or his affinity for wearing women's clothing.  We all know Scott is a masterful ball striker.  Also, how he chooses to dress in the privacy of his own home is his business.

Well, that's it for now.  I am taking a trip to Wasagaming with Blake for a round at Clear Lake.  This is the first time he has golfed there since he was fourteen years old.  I will need to keep reinforcing how slow the greens are as we drive up this morning.

British Open draft results

436    Chris Kimpinski    1st place
397    Milt Ostash          2nd place
370    Brad Swereda
339    Jason Neufeld
332    Sport Geekie
327    Mike Susinski
325    Jason Hunter
316    Robin Kimpinski
313    Stephen David
300    Keith Martin
300    Kevin Bartram
295    Ron Sunsinki
251    Stu Nowasad
230    Luke Funk
217    Wes Arnfinson
193    Scott Maynes
166    Brad Benton

Information regarding the teams and point allocations are found on the British Open link on the left side of the page.

Better Late Than Never

So it is late Saturday evening, and I am just getting around to updating the blog. Sorry about that. I was camping in Virden all week and only came back for Mens' Night. When I returned home today, it was really nice out and I went golfing. Also, I made plans for more golf tomorrow morning, so I need to get this done now. This sounds like one of those lame Facebook status updates, so I will stop before I describe where I was this evening, what I am wearing, and what my likes and dislikes are.

Back to the important business of Mens' Night. This past Wednesday we had 34 golfers. There was a mixture of some good golf, some bad golf, and a little bit of everything in between. For example, Cody Cornwall shot a 39...which was good. Also, all four golfers in one group scored an 8 on hole 4...which was bad. Lyle Wilson drained a 25 footer for birdie on 9 which earned him a $99 deuce pot...which was good. I was one of the previously mentioned golfers who scored an 8 on hole 4...which was bad.

Three skins went on Wednesday with Mikey and Randy Tully earning $20 on #1, Dale Martin and Ron Susinksi getting $20 on #2, and Cubby and Scott Maynes cashing in for $103 on #4. Closest to the pins were Wes on #5 and Sport on #9. Neither were able to convert relatively close putts to earn a share of the deuce pot.

In other news, field reporter Mike Susinski asked that I note two things in the blog. Firstly, he wanted me to mention that Wes Arnfinson played slowly all night and held his group up on a regular basis. This seems unlikely given how quickly Wes plays poker. Mike also related a story regarding Luke Funk. After boming a huge drive on eight, Luke had less success on his approach shot. Mike said that Luke appeared to become upset and threw his club further than his ball traveled.

We also had a British Open draft. Information about this is found on another link on this web page.

The Drive to 50

On Tuesday I suggested that we should aim for 50 golfers for yesterday's Mens' Night. We got fairly close, with 44 guys showing up on a perfect evening for golf.  Neither the relentless black flies nor the thunder in the west could take away from what was an all around enjoyable night. Yes...it was a fun time, in spite of the 24 golfers who refused to turn in their scorecards in a timely fashion...and the two senile elderly gentlemen who forgot to sign up.

Skins went on four holes. Winners included Dick Edgeworth / Darcy Stewart ($22 on #1), Robin Kimpinski / Matt Yanick ($22 on #2), Jason Hunter / Brodie MacEachern ($22 on #3), and Ron Susinski / Les Grills ($22 on #7). Next week there will be four prizes over $100, including skins on #4, 6, and 9. The deuce pot was not won last night, so it will also be sizable given a multiple week carry-over. Closest to the pins were Chris Kimpinski on #5 and Phil Ostash on #9.  Sub 40 rounds were carded by Jason Hunter (38), Brad Benton (38), and Mike Susinski (39).

The greens were fast yesterday, given that Joel cut them short.  Also, he still has not put any water on them. I am thinking he gets a commission on his salary if he saves a certain number of gallons over the summer.  Of course, payback can be a funny thing. A few of Joel's closest pals were quick to share the fact that Mr. Ostash had a four-putt as the result of his own golf course maintenance. Joel, the course is in great shape given the year we have had so far...and you and your crew are very deserving of the credit for this. You just might want to be careful about how you prep the greens and where you place the pins, especially if you are playing later the same day.

Despite cashing in on a regular basis, Clayton Bomak still found time to complain about me mispelling his name in an earlier post.  It's funny...I recall Milt and Neuf both whining about one of my blogs last year.  That resulted in both gentlemen being featured regularly in the weekly posts.  Perhaps Clayton will get similar star treatment in the future.  After threatening me against future typos, Clayton did mention that even though he did not win any skins this week, he did clean up on the snips with his group.  To be fair, Austin Hunter did really well with the same guys a few weeks ago.  It's not like Clayton played in a power-house group with the likes of Ronnie Susinski, Chris Kimpinski, and Milt, as some of us did.

Have a good Thursday...and I will see most of you at the fundraising tournament tomorrow.  I apologize to those of you who are looking for the updated ringer boards, money list, and skins for next week.  They will have to wait until later today.  I am finally on vacation and the sun is shining...so I am heading to the golf course.

One More Sleep!

Usually, I only do one post a week...but I have decided an exception is appropriate given the circumstances.  Due to various other commitments and inclement weather, I have only played one Mens' Night this year.  Tomorrow is my first time playing in over a month.  I am excited.

To give you some perspective, I feel the way Milt does on Christmas Eve.  Like Milt in December, I worry I may not be able to sleep tonight.  I can now understand the way that Dennis felt the day before the golf club auction in April.  That feeling that Neuf gets when a girl talks to him...that is sort of what I am experiencing about Mens' Night tomorrow.

In anticipation for some good weather, I even adapted the sign-up sheet.  Up to this point, it had space for 32 names.  Now it has room for 50.  Last year, we had a three-week run where we were getting 45 golfers for Mens' Night.  It would be cool if we could crack 50 once.  Tell your friends who don't golf much to come out tomorrow.  Invite your neighbour who just moved in next door.  Call some guy from a nearby town and tell him the skins are building up.  Imagine the strories you could tell your grandchildren...about that evening back in 2011 when there were over 50 golfers at Mens' Night in Shoal Lake.  It's not simply about the golf, it is about deciding what kind of legacy you want to leave for your children's children.

Grad Was Really Nice

I am assuming that there are 32 guys who are really wondering what the Shoal Lake grad was like, given that they chose to go golfing instead of attending.  Since I went, I thought I would give a brief recap of the convocation exercises for your benefit.  Supper was wonderful, with Old School Catering outdoing themselves with a traditional Ukrainian feast.  The grads looked wonderful, with the male grads dressed to the nines in their fine suits, and the female grads were resplendent in their evening gowns.  The pace of play was quick, with both focused award presenters and speeches.  There were some tears, lots of laughter, and significant applause and cheering.  It was almost the perfect evening.  The only thing missing were the 32 of you who chose to golf instead of attending.  I hope those students leaving Grade 12 remember the good parts of the evening...and not get hung up on the memory of those 32 empty seats.

For those of you upstanding citizens, who like myself, went to grad...here is a recap of the golf.  There were 32 golfers who played 9 holes and enjoyed a steak they cooked on their own.  The golfers looked like a rag tag bunch of golf-shirt wearing hobos, with the older players such as the Gill boys and Benton at least making an effort to colour-coordinate.  The pace of play was slow I assume, given the numerous scores over 50.  There were some tears, lots of belittling laughter, and little applause or cheering.  It was almost an okay evening.  The only thing missing was Chris Kimpinski.

It was like a trappers' festival, with skins being collected on 6 of 9 holes.  The winners were as follows: Keith Martin and Bob Mowbray ($32 on #1, $32 on #7), Ronnie Anderson and Benton ($10 on #2), Ken Wowryk and Clayton Bomack ($20 0n #3 and $32 on #8), and Robin K. and Beaker ($20 on #5).  Closest to the pin on #5 was Cubby while Neuf put one tight on #9.  Despite several 2's, no deuces were paid.  I assume Wes and Blake changed another rule in my absence. 

Low score of the night was Robin Kimspinski whose 35 was even-par given the modified tee box on #4.  Luke, Doug Koroscil, and Brad Benton followed with 39's.  Clayton Bomack vaulted to second on the season money list with another $26 in prize money.  Keith Martin also had a good night and joined the hunt for the Ringer Board Cup after adding a few scores that put him at -3.

Have a safe and relaxing long weekend.

Who the heck is Clayton Bomack?

So it is bad enough that I am still in the middle of a month-long run during which I will miss four mens' nights. Now I have to deal with some new guy winning a skin and the deuce pot. I am sure this Clayton is a nice guy...but I have a feeling a will be shanking one toward him sometime in the future.

It was a nice evening for golfing...or so I was told. Again, you probably can detect the undercurrent of resentment. Nothing I report lately is anything that I have actually experienced. It is all reported to me by a bunch of egotistical, self-aggrandizing, Scott Maynes' wannabees who tend to highlight their own accomplishments while belittling those of their peers.  I used Mr. Maynes as the reference point here because Benton told me that Scott is the best golfer in Shoal Lake.  He also added that he is the second best golfer while Robin is now third.  Milt then emailed me and said he was the forty-third best golfer in town, if you exclude females, seniors, and people wearing casts.

My co-organizers Wes Arnfinson and Blake Hunter had a better week math-wise. Unfortunately, I listened to them whine on Friday about how everyone forgot to turn in their scorecards, or submitted two scorecards, or neglected to sign their name on the sheet, or chose not to pay. Also, they complained about how overcooked their steaks were after they completed the score tabulating and awarding of prizes. Their whining aside, it is critical that when you come for mens' night you strictly adhere to the extremely complicated protocol. It is as follows: put your money in the can, write your name down, take an official score card, record your score on that scorecard, turn in the scorecard as soon as you finish, buy a drink, then berate Milt for something he said, did, or you imagine he might do sometime in the future.

There were 32 golfers this week. Earlier in the day, greenskeeper Joel Ostash placed pins in ideal locations for his game allowing him to card a 36. Jason Hunter came for his first Mens' Night of the year and shot a 37, with his tee shot on #9 being the closest of the evening. Robin Kimpinski was closest on #5. Skins were won by Joel Ostash and Ron Anderson ($32 on #2), Scott Maynes and Charlie McNabb ($94 on #3), and Clayton Bomack and Brad Benton ($73.50 on #5). The $48.00 deuce pot was split by Mr. Bomack and Wes Arnfinson.

In terms of other news, I don't have much to offer. I did hear about Chris Hyrsak's troubles on the eight tee box. Apparently, he became angry with his driver after an errant tee shot and fired it into the adjacent swamp. When Milt suggested that he go and retrieve the club, Chris declined and stated that he didn't have hip waders. Plus, he said if he ever needs the driver again he knew where it was.

I arrived after golf was completed and the majority of the crowd had dispersed. It was fun to have a game of cards and watch some little dude try to start a fight with another poor guy who was both twice his size and twice as intoxicated. Had the scrap occurred, the instigator likely would have ended up in the hospital with various injuries...and perhaps a chunk of nose lodged in his espohagus.

Have fun on June 29th. I will be attending the Shoal Lake grad. See you the first week of July. I will be getting my wife to drive me there, so feel free to buy me a drink.

How much rain is too much rain?

I know that there are rivers and lakes of water on the golf course.  I also realize that it is raining outside right now.  I understand that the fairways and greens are waterlogged to the point that golf carts would be not permitted to run.  However, I am still bummed out that Mens’ Night is canceled today.

Some people look forward to the weekend.  Others look forward to special events such as birthdays, graduations, and weddings.  I look forward to Mens’ Night.   So when I got the text message today that tonight was canceled, I deleted it right away in hopes that doing so would make it untrue.  Unfortunately that didn’t work.

Being the optimist that I am, my mind quickly tried to make the best of it.  I imagined a fun evening in which everyone who had planned on golfing would come to watch the hockey game together, eat some chicken wings, and perhaps play some cards afterwards.  I even texted the idea to someone.  Unfortunately, the response I got wasn’t the one for which I was hoping.  Given the decision to shut down Mens’ Night, it was also decided that this would be a good evening to shut down the golf course and club house early.  Now the logical part of me thinks this is a good idea. I know that Butch and his crew put in long hours and they are doing a great job this year.  I also appreciate that it is reasonable to close down early when the weather is as poor as it is. However, the irrational part of me that looks forward to Wednesday evening thinks this all sucks. 

I also wanted to do a US Open pool tonight given that it starts tomorrow.  Maybe we will try something next week…although it may be harder to generate excitement for a draft for the Travelers’ Championship.

I know most of us will be watching Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals.  However, if you are like me and will be experiencing Mens’ Night withdrawal, I offer some suggestions for things that you can do at home to bridge the gap.   For example, I plan on eating my supper out of a basket…and tipping my wife very well when she brings it to the table.  In between periods, I may play some Wii golf with my eight year old daughter for $10 skins.  I will also heckle her errant shots and snake her if I think she might three putt.  Occasionally, I will look to my left and say “Who the hell is Milt talking to?”.  I may also ask my daughter to occasionally stand beside the TV so I can pretend to shank the odd shot toward her.  In this instances, I will yell “Duck Neuf!” and hope that she understands that I am talking to her.  Finally, I may ask her to play cards until 12:30 am…although she doesn’t understand poker.  Oh well, late night Uno is better than nothing I guess.

Have fun next week…and the week after that.  I have a couple of previous commitments which require my attendance.  And if I could ask one thing of you, my fellow golfers, it would be this.  Please don’t win any of the big skins this month…so they will all be carried over and available when I return in July.

How much Milt is too much Milt?

As sad as it seems, Mens' Night went on without me.  When I pulled into the golf course, I expected to see the lights of the Club House dimmed.  Perhaps I would find a few guys sitting on the deck, telling stories about my golfing exploits, while Dave Gill led a small but tasteful candlelight vigil in my honour beneath the flat screen television.  Imagine my chagrin when I pulled in just after 10:00 pm, on the way home from my meeting...and found 32 golfers smiling and laughing, while tipping both drink glasses and waitresses.

If it was any consolation, Wes and Blake, my organizing partners, struggled without me.  They still had yet to sort out the prizes, and they looked thirsty and hungry.  On a positive note, for two people at least, they paid out an extra $7.00 for one skin.  Of course, I adjusted this on the money list.

Despite some bleak forecasts earlier in the week, it turned out to be a clear, if not slightly cool evening on the links. Skins were won by Robin and Dennis ($29 on #1), Beaker Sr. and Milt ($36 on #7), and Dale and Sport ($20 on #8).  Closest to the pins were Sport on #5 and Robbie Eastcott on #9.  The big story of the night was a deuce by Chris Hyrsak, which netted him $111.00.  He used part of his winnings later in the evening when Milt ordered a round for the table but refused to pay for it.  Six more golfers also joined the new and improved Ringer Board.

Given that I missed the golfing portion of the evening, I had to rely on field reporters to give me some highlights.  Several mentioned Denny's adventures, including his shanking of one shot through the windshield of Wes's cart.  Someone else told me how Denny did not play well in the evening because of his senior golf in the morning.  When I talked with Mr. Green he simply said that 27 holes in one day were too much for his broken-down old body.

I also heard tales of how one group (Milt, Benton, and Neuf) all fired shots from the seventh tee box at other players on the sixth hole.  Robbie told me of how Austin Hunter out drove his dad Blake every f____ing hit.  I apologize for the censorship on the last line but I know that Diane Cramer reads this blog...and I don't want to offend anyone's fiancée.  I also learned how one bushy-haired gentleman complained for eight consecutive holes about the limited meat-based dining options.  I tried to avoid saying Milt's name here, because I already referenced him twice.  Either he constantly does stuff that warrants attention, or I am obsessed with him.  For my sake, I hope that it is the former.

Have a good end to the week...and I'll see most of you at the Eagles' Tournament on Saturday.

Mens' Night...finally!

I am sure it has been wetter at some point in the history. But the wettest conditions that I have ever seen while golfing were those that existed on Wednesday. There were new water hazards all over the course, with creeks on #1 and # 2 and an ever-growing lake on #3. The fourth hole was a swamp from tee to pin, and both par 3 holes had island-like greens. Golfers all over the course watched tee-shots plug while planning careful paths to avoid bogging down their carts.  Profanities filled the evening air as player after player watched balls sail off into trouble after swings that produced foot-long chunks of saturated sod.

Now for those of you who are farmers, I clearly understand that there are more serious things being impacted by the weather than golf.  For you, I offer both my condolences and my wish for a turn of fortune.  That being said, for someone like Neuf, golf is likely the only thing that gives him pleasure in life.  It is for the Neufs of the world that I fear the most.

On a positive note, it was the first Mens' Night of the year. Twenty-six golfers braved the conditions and appeared to be still relatively happy at the end of the round. The low score of the night went to Brad Benton with a 37 followed closely by Scott "The Teacher Guy" Maynes with a 38.  We started the Ringer Board again, with Mr. Maynes already adding birdies for holes #1, 6, and 8. Two of nine skins went with Luke Funk and Wes Arnfinson taking #2 for $20. while Robin Kimpinski and Dyson Solomon won $28.00 on #8.  Robin also won a Shur Gro gift certificate for being closest to the pin on #5.  Milt begged me to mention that Robin's shot was barely an inch closer than that of a playing partner.  I note this reluctantly…especially given that Benton begged me not to mention Milt. The closest on #9 was Jason Neufeld, which briefly gave him joy...until he looked down at the cast on his foot and lamented the recent loss of some of his toe nails.

As much as it pains me to say it, the long range forecast for this coming Wednesday doesn't look overly promising...11 Celsius and rainy.  However, there is always cards…and maybe a hockey or basketball game on TV.  Even if there is no golf, you need to at least get the chips out.  I have a meeting and will not get there until 10:00 pm.

Mens' Night Starts Tomorrow

Sure it rained today...but the forecast looks promising for tomorrow, the first Mens' Night of 2011.  Dust off your clubs, iron your nicest golf shirt, and pack up those balls you received as Christmas presents.  You may also want to bring some rubber boots and a positive attitude, because the course is likely to be very wet.  My view of holes 3 and 4 today revealed some new water hazards that were not there on Sunday.

Come out and let's get this season started.  There are so many exciting developments, I don't know where to start.  Here are a couple of highlights:
- The Ringer Board will be flighted to allow for additional opportunities for prizes.
- We will introduce a maximum hole score of +3 to speed up play and to minimize damage to self-esteem.
- The new clubhouse staff (under the direction of Butch Derhak) is looking forward to serving you.

For the first night of the year, Ronnie Anderson is bringing out some guests from Oak Lake.  Also, you can watch Neuf play in a cast and check out Wes as he sprays drives all over the course with his new R-11.  You can see the new swing that Milt has, and his even greater emphasis on talking to himself during the round.

For those of you who aren't regular members of the Golf Club, you might consider our special introductory offer for new members.  For $199 you can become a full member for 2011, with unlimited playing privileges including regular Mens' Nights.

Combines or golf carts

Harvest was in full swing in Shoal Lake...and no where was it more evident than on the golf course on Mens' Night.  It was certainly a time when there were more combines rolling than golf carts. We had only 16 guys which represented our lowest total for the season.  That it being said, it was a beautiful evening for golf and everyone who came out seemed to enjoy themselves.

Only three skins went this week - Stephen and Cody (#1), Brad and Hubey (#2) and Joel and Ron A. (#7).  The skin for Benton was his first of the season.   Les Grills was dialed in on the par 3's as he was closest on both #5 and #9.  Thanks to the Royal Bank who donated a golf package for one of his prizes.  For the first time all year, no one carded a two...so the deuce pot carries over for a week.

Speaking of Cody Cornwall, seven was both his lucky and unlucky number for the evening.  After playing seven practice holes at an outstanding +1, Cody carded five sevens in his mens' night round.  His one par on the night won him his skin.

We are going to try one more week.  Remember, tee off is now at 6:30 pm.  There are some good skins available so come on out and have some fun.

Better Late Than Never

Sorry for the delay in updating the blog...I sort of forgot until today. 

Just prior to making this post, I read a bit about the Tiger and Elin's divorce which was finalized today.  Remember guys, as much as we all love Wednesday evening it always needs to take a back seat to the relationships that we have with our significant others.  So, this week, in honour of those women in our lives, let's only play nine extra holes before Mens' Night begins, let's maybe call them before we tee off on #7 just to let them know we are thinking about them, and let's only play one game of poker afterwards.  Not only will they appreciate us and respect us more, we'll all get home by 1:00 am.  Golf is great but don't put yourself in the same position that Tiger is in now.  Sure, the idea of having twenty mistresses may appeal to some of you, but it isn't worth it.  If you get upset splitting the deuce pot with Milt, imagine how you feel if you have to split everything you own after a court ordered settlement.

Now for the golf recap...last Wednesday there were 27 competitors comprised of mainly non-farmers.  Skins went on five of nine holes including #1 (Wes and Scott), #2 (Joel and Blake), #6 (Dick and Mikey), #7 (Robin and Jason G.), and #8 (Ron A. and Tyler M.).  Wes also scored the only deuce of the evening and pocketed $40.50 for his efforts.  The closest to the pins belonged to Jason Hunter on #5 and Sport on #9.

The forecast for Wednesday is fairly promising with a projection of 21 C with sun.  Don't forget that we are starting at 6:30 pm as we did last week.

Ringers, shanks and hair gel

Three weeks in a row with over 40 golfers...at this rate we might have to consider adding another cart girl.

Skins tonight were won by Chris & Aaron Short (#4), Neuf & Dale (#5), Matt Yanick (#7) and Jamie &  Ron G. (#9).  The deuce pot was split by Keith Martin and Kyle from Central S.  Keith's two followed a closest to the pin shot on #5, which won him some hair care products from Trendsetters.  While Keith was less than enthusiastic about this prize, Milt was heard exclaiming that hair care products were the best prize ever. Interestingly enough, Scott Maynes' closest to on 9 did not result in a share of the deuce pot.

The ringer board wrapped up tonight win Robin claiming first with a -5 score after a countback with Brad who also was five under.  Milt, Ron, Chris, Luke, and Stephen were all at -4 but Chris finished in 3rd on a countback.  After hearing complaints from the crowd such as "How can we ever beat a score like Milt's" and "Ringer boards are just for the handsome golfers who also play well", a quick decision was made to amend the prizes for next year. When we run it in 2011, we will pay prizes in a couple of flights to give the ugly and poor golfers a chance.

Speaking of plans for next year, it has also been suggested that we cap the scoring on any Mens' Night hole at 3 over par to speed up play.  This will also help golfers avoid having to enter things like a 12 for hole #3 (as happened this past week for one unlucky Hydro employee).  We are also open to any other suggestions that you may have to improve the quality of our Mens' Night.  For example, Wes suggested that we only allow people 50 years old and under to play next year...and that suggestion is currently being considered by our Executive.

Personally, I would like to apologize to the golfers in my group who were almost struck by golf balls as the result of my numerous shanks on Wednesday.  I actually almost hit Robin and Neuf twice on hole #7...the same hole that Brad Benton made famous at the Eagles' Tournament.

Don't forget that next week's shotgun start begins at 6:30 pm.

FORE!

We seem to be on a bit of a roll with Mens' Night as we cracked 40 golfers for the second consecutive week.  Thanks to all the regulars for their continued support and welcome to this week's newcomers (Clayton B., Dan Deonarine, Riley Woychyshyn, Willem Venter, Andrew Gerrard, Travis C. and Dallas Kominko).

The low round of the night went to 50 year old Brad Benton who shot a fantastic one-under 35.  Brad is a testimony to how clean living, a healthy diet and exercise can enable seniors to function at the same level as the rest of us.  You are an inspiration to us all...but mainly to the other old guys such as yourself, Charlie McNabb and Ron Susinksi.

Seven of the nine skins went this week.  Winners included Scott and Wes on #1, Aaron Short and Dan D. on #2, Jason Gorrell and Dave on #5, Charlie and Dallas Malchuk on #7, Ron S. and Doug on #8, and finally Senor Beaker and Stu on #9.   The deuce pot was split by Scott, Jason and Stu.   Closest to the pin honours went to Gorrell on #5 and Commander Bob Moffatt on #9.     Thanks to Murray Farm Supplies and Kimp Services / Susinski Farms for supplying the prizes for these two holes.

Speaking of Jason Gorrell, his shot on #5 landed 8 inches from the hole, nearly claiming the hole-in-one prize.  If you have not seen Jason golf, he intentionally plays the largest slice imaginable.  On Wednedsay, his tee shot on #5 was struck with a 3 wood.  While the hole only played 180 yards, Jason's shot probably travelled 380 yards... 180 to the pin after a trip of 100 yards out and back over the farmland to the right.  When Jason tees off number 4, the Baydak's dogs start barking and running for cover.  When he hits from #7 he aims for the house...not Agnes Kokke's like the rest of us but at Murray Clarke's place to the south.  That being said, Jason has been playing well recently and getting cash on a regular basis.  He is also willing to teach his technique to anyone that is interested for a small fee.  Jason's motto is "a great slice is a thing of awesome power and beauty".

By overwhelming consensus, the hole-in-prize has been capped at $1616. with additional revenue going toward the building of a second pot.  The hole-in-one prize operates in similar fashion to the deuce pot.  If there are multiple winners on a given night they split the prize.  Also, don't forget if you score an ace there is an expectation that you buy a round for everyone.  That is, unless Milt wins...because Robin will likely rip up his cheque.   The tradition of buying everyone a drink after a hole-in-one not traces back to Scotland. Here is what one historian says about it:  "Scotland is historically a very shrewd country. No matter the happy occasion the Scots have always held that any benefactor has to buy drinks for all. Even in small villages areas where there used to be no telephones the whole population would find out and cash in on their free drink. You announce an engagement - free drinks - and then you are forced into bankruptcy the same day. When a Scot plays a round of golf and gets a hole in one, they don't even stop at the 19th hole, they go straight to a bankruptcy trustee. But even then, they will always go back to celebrate!"

Next week is the final night for the ringer board.  There are now five guys in the lead at -5 including Brad, Milt, Robin, Ron and Stephen.  Chris locked in a final score of -4 and is hoping for some poor conditions or poor play by the group ahead of him.   If you have yet to complete your scorecard you will have to do so August 11th.  Most of us are a hole or two away from finishing....although Jason Neufeld needs to enter nine scores.  If he shoots a course record 30 this coming Wednesday he may have a chance of winning the ringer board.  Good luck Neuf.

We will also decide next week how much longer we will run mens' night.  We will go at least until the third week of August in case you need to plan your holidays around it.

Here is one final piece of golf etiquette for your consideration.  You may respect the game by fixing your divots, reparing your ball marks, and waiting until after a partner's shot to heckle them.  However, all of this means little if you place the group ahead of you in harms way by hitting golf balls at them.  The first time is easy to deal with by simply apologizing and remarking how you never hit it that far.  The second or third time is not so funny...especially if you fly a green from 200 yards away into the middle of five guys who are putting.   Please exercise caution because you don't want to Benton someone in the head with a golf ball.  Plus, Neuf is a smoker and his heart probably can't handle another episode of waving his arms and cursing at people who try to plunk him.

Respecting the Traditions of Golf

Some say it was the beautiful weather.  Others said it was the positive buzz from previous weeks.  A few even suggested it was because word was out that Keith Martin was returning.  In any case, the golfers came out in full force as we hit our high for the season with 45 players this past Wednesday.  Thanks to everyone who joined us...and special thanks to all the new guys including Paul Wilson, Bob and Bobby Kostesky, Mark Swereda, Aaron Kachan, Brian Allen, Lyle Wilson, Will Moncrief, Tim Rogasky and Justin Mowbray (from Calgary).

One of the challenges with more golfers is obviously an increase in the chance that holes will be tied.   After paying out 7 skins the previous week, only four went this time.  Milt and Charlie won #1, Bobby Kostesky and Mike Pryzner cashed in on #2, Jamie McCutchins and Mark Yanick grabbed the prize for #6 and Lone Wolf Luke Funk won another solo skin on #9.  Speaking of Jamie, he shot a 37 with a new driver and hybrid in play.  He was one of eight golfers to post sub 40 rounds on the evening.  While scoring conditions seemed ideal, there were some who struggled including one golfer who scored a 62.  The closest to the pins were Jason Hunter on #5 and Mark Yanick on #9. Mark made his birdie to split the deuce pot with Milt, who chipped in for 2 on the first hole.

The low round of the night was the previously mentioned Jason Hunter who also had a 37 but won on a countback.  Jason was also the first participant in the ringer board to submit scores for all nine holes.  Don't forget that you must complete your ringer board in the next two weeks.  Only full rounds will be eligible for prizes.  The current leaders are Robin, Ron and Stephen who all sit at -5.

Finally, congratulations to Hubey who failed to make it past the ladies tee on #4.  Mr. Huberdeau showed his respect for the traditions of golf by dropping his trousers to commemorate his weak drive.

Lost and Found

Lost - the rain or chance of rain that has plagued our mens' nights for the last month.

Found - beautiful sunny weather for a change.

Lost - the Gill brothers and Keith Martin.  The Gill boys are apparently traveling and Keith may be helping with his sick grand-dog.

Found - 32 golfers...the most this year.  We had several new faces including Bruce and Eddie Waddell, Stu Nowasad, Brad Swereda, Darcy Kowalchuk, and Scott Maynes' brother-in-law Gary Norbury.

Lost - another chance for someone to take home the hole-in-one pot...which now is pushing $1600.

Found - the skins on seven of the nine holes. Winners included Stu and Robin (#1), Doug and Milt (#2), Scott Maynes and Dick (#6), Blake and Bob (#7), and Darcy and Jason G. (#9).   Also, Trevor Haygard and Jason Neufeld won two big skins (#3 and 8) for a combined pot of $129.50.

Lost - the deuce pot...to the four golfers who scored 2's - Jason Gorrell, Milt, Robin and Wes.

Found - closest to the pin on #5 (Wes) and #9 (Eddie Waddell)

Lost - by Stephen...a Bridgestone golf ball, his glasses and a small bit of his dignity..in the bush on the left of #2.  Fortunately, the glasses were found after 10 minutes of looking for them.

Lost - a three wood by Robin who fired it into the trees after shanking a shot on #4.

Found - Robin's three wood, after some group searching

Lost - Milt's cheque for $12.00 for his share of the closest to the pin...after someone ripped it up because he would not donate it back to the club.

Found - 12 guys to play cards after mens' night.

Lost - all of his chips, by Milt, on the very first hand of a two-table game.

Found - the winning hand by Jason Neufeld on the first game of heads up.

British Open draft results

See the link to the left for the results of our first British Open draft.