Golf Interruptus

Wednesday night at Shoal Lake Golf Course is sacred. It's Men’s Night, a time-honoured ritual. But even the strongest traditions occasionally get sideswiped by the unpredictable forces of nature and life.

Golf Interruptus. That’s the term I’m coining for the bizarre, baffling, and sometimes beautiful interruptions that threaten to derail our weekly golf gathering.

First, let’s address the number one culprit of Golf Interruptus: the weather.

It takes a special kind of golfer to stand on a fairway beneath a black sky soaked to the skin and say with conviction, “It’ll blow over.” Each year, we usually get at least one or two rain nights that shut things down completely. Last July, we played on a day with three separate weather alerts, including a severe thunderstorm warning. You know, just a casual golf-at-your-own-risk kind of evening.

And how could we forget June 12th of last year, when we had a tornado warning and an inch of rain fell between 3:30 and 4:00 pm. It looked like the apocalypse but by 6:00 pm, the sun came out, the fairways were steaming like a sauna, and we played. Naturally.

Honestly, short of actual frogs falling from the sky or a meteor strike, we golf.

Cold weather doesn’t cancel Men’s Night; it just gives it more character. Sure, a few guys stay home when it’s 6 degrees with a 30 km/h wind. But those who do show up, that’s a different breed of man. They’re either dedicated, slightly unstable, or avoiding something at home. Sometimes, it’s all three.

Last night, there were 37 of these dedicated men who showed up to golf. And while I have attended many Men’s Nights, I would think the conditions last night were as close to perfect as possible. While it was not scorching hot it was more than comfortable. There was no rain, no smoke in the air, and the wind was almost completely absent. Calm evenings on Wednesdays seem to be a rarity.

The highlights from the golf include Kevin Bartram and Charlie McNabb getting closest to the holes on #5 and #9 respectively. Three skins went, including Phil Ostash ($44.38 on #2), Charles McKay / Wayne Griffin ($23.13 on #7), and Darcy Kowalchuk / Charlie McNabb ($44.38 on #9).

Jason Gorrell had himself a night carding one of the lowest rounds of the evening with a 38. That was made possible due to a chip-in birdie from in front of the final hole. He partnered with Darcy Kowalchuk’s to split the $211.88 deuce pot. Jason’s score was a 15-stroke improvement from last week.

One other thing to note about last night…Scott Maynes had an incredible birdie on #3. He chipped in from the bush on the left of the hole. His ball was about two feet in grass almost up to his waist.

While weather may be the primary enemy of Men’s Night, let’s not forget the other recurring interruption: life. Some players miss for things such as birthdays, anniversaries, or child-related commitments, such as ball games or 4H events. Look, we get it. Family comes first.

There’s also the odd local tradition of holding Shoal Lake’s high school graduation on Wednesday night. Is this just a coincidence or a conspiracy by community females to distract golfers away from the course? If you’re a parent of a graduate, fine. But for everyone else attending for moral support, what about the moral support required for your fellow golfers that you leave behind?

Sometimes, an interruption is actually worth celebrating. Two weeks ago, our own Robin Kimpinski skipped Men’s Night for something that makes even a hole-in-one seem ordinary: the arrival home of his new grandson, Eli. Congratulations, Grandpa.

From an emergency management perspective, we likely need to prepare for what might be next on the list of Golf Interruptus incidents. Given where we live, we could get rogue cow from a nearby pasture wandering onto the green. I had one in my front lawn a few years back.  

We should form a task force to develop a continuity plan to address other potential threats to Men’s Night. If anyone is interesting in being part of this group, we will be meeting at Gorrell’s campground gazebo next Wednesday at 10:00 pm.

Golf Interruptus. At the end of the day, Men’s Night always finds a way. We dodge storms, sneak past commitments, and tee off into skies that often defy meteorology. Because at Shoal Lake, golf isn’t just a game, it’s a weekly reminder that while life may interrupt, it never fully cancels what matters most. Unless, of course, there’s lightning…in which case, we strongly recommend shelter, a beverage, and waiting it out.

 

Golf Rules, Shoal Lake Style

Someone told me recently that my blogs are getting longer. I took it as a positive. It meant someone was reading them. Once my vacation starts in July, I have more time to write. That same person said last week’s blog was the longest ever. I took that as a challenge.

This morning, I want to talk about the rules that govern the game of golf. While many are universal, not all apply on Men’s Night.

For example, etiquette experts stress that the golfer farthest from the hole plays first—unless everyone agrees to play “ready golf,” as we do on Men’s Night. The only time you’ll get heck is if you don’t let the guy who just birdied go next.

Collared shirts are standard, even required, at most courses. At our local course, you wear what you want. In Shoal Lake, jeans are fairly common, especially on cooler evenings at the start or end of the season. On the hottest days, some guys even go shirtless. This usually involves high levels of both UV and intoxication.

You’re also not supposed to hit someone else’s ball, but it happens on Men’s Night. When it does, the offender incurs a two-stroke penalty and must replay their own ball.

Some courses have internal out-of-bounds areas marked by white stakes. Shoal Lake does not. This was helpful to Jason Gorrell last night when he landed on the putting green from the second tee box. Impressively, he made par from his lie 155 yards directly south of the hole over some dense bush.

Official golf rules require you to play the ball as it lies, even if it’s in a divot, on hardpan, or in a less-than-perfect lie. At Shoal Lake, we use a version of “winter rules,” allowing preferred lies on your own fairway only. You can move your ball within six inches, or a club length, but no closer to the hole. This rule doesn’t apply to balls in the rough or on another fairway. If you’re fluffing your ball in the rough, stop it. The rough is meant to be harder to hit from than the fairways.

There’s also the expectation that you stay quiet during swings. Phones should be off, and voices low. That said, we have lots of guys on call, such as Hydro workers and those from implement dealerships, who may need to keep their phones on. If your phone rings mid-swing and it’s work or the contractor building your new house, that’s generally acceptable. If it’s your spouse, you should immediately pick up your ball and go home. It’s family time now.

One unofficial rule of Men’s Night is no sharing feelings. It’s never been officially stated but it applies in my group. If you are mad about a shot, no problem. If you are struggling with an ongoing sadness or malaise due to challenges of life, put on a brave face. Golf isn’t a therapy session. As far as I know, none of us are trained counsellors.

On Wednesday evenings, swearing is permitted, but only if it’s creative and directed at inanimate objects. And while dropping an F-bomb after a bad shot might feel cathartic, don’t throw clubs. You could hurt someone or break a light on their cart. That happened to me. I won’t say who did it but it occurred at the Horse Race a few years back.

Also, like all courses it is important to fix ball marks on the green, avoid walking on someone’s putting line, and make sure your garbage finds a receptacle. I am noting the last one due to recent experience. While on an early morning scavenger hunt this week to find lost balls, I found cans in the bushes near four different holes. One was about 50 feet from the tree line. I guess if someone was looking that far in, they deserve to be drinking.

Another local rule is the Men’s Night max, referenced last week. If you’re in the trees and playing your seventh shot, it’s time to pick up. We’re here to play golf, not conduct an archaeological dig.

Break the rules and you might get a reminder or an unfriendly stare. But if it involves cheating, expect harsher penalties. Public shunning is not out of the question.

I expect that the majority of golfers generally respected the rules of golf last night, to the best of their ability. Perhaps a few people slightly improved their lie off the fairway. Maybe there was some noise during swings or puts, such as the backfiring of the Gator or someone trying to finish up a story that they just started. But just like every week, things went reasonably well and everyone seemed to have a good time.

Ron Huberdeau likely had a good night. He got closest to the pin on #9 and split a $21.25 skin with Scott Maynes on #1. Scott's teeshot on that hole was in the middle of the bush on the right but bounced almost back to the fairway. 

The other closest to the pin went to Darren Ostash on #5.

Another skin went to Ryden Lanouette and James Van De Velde on #7. They earned $63.75 thanks to Ryden’s eagle and James’ par.

Here is one interesting thing from last night. For the 34 golfers, the middle score was 46. That was as high as I can remember it. I suspect the gusting winds earlier in the round played a factor.

Okay, that was a longer blog entry than normal. If your read the whole thing, I appreciate your patience. If you didn't make it to the end, there is nothing I can say to help because you are no longer reading this.

Horse Race on July 26

The 15^th annual Horse Race is scheduled for Saturday, July 26. 

The 18-hole flighting round starts with a shotgun start at 9:00 am. After lunch, there is a Calcutta and then the horse races begin at 2:00 pm.

Each flight pays out top 3 with the money equal for all flights. The Calcutta pays out the top 2.

Additional information is available at https://tinyurl.com/mwr57zar

The Wednesday Night Mercy Rule

At our Men’s Night, we’ve adopted a triple bogey max rule. It's designed to keep the pace of play moving, protect fragile egos, and most importantly, make sure no one walks off the course with a score that looks like a phone number. No one wants to record a 10 on a par 4 and have to emotionally unpack that later in the clubhouse.

But even with the max rule in place, some golfers rise to the challenge. I’ll never forget the time a guy from out of town, working in Shoal Lake, showed up for two consecutive Men’s Nights and carded back-to-back 63s. I know, because I had the privilege of playing with him both times. This guy hit the max on every single hole. Every single one.

To make it worse, despite our repeated friendly nudges, he refused to pick up once he reached triple bogey. He kept hitting or mishitting, grinding out double-digit hole scores like he was chasing some secret achievement badge.

Last night, someone nearly joined the club with a 59. That’s at least five maxes. Someone said that the player might’ve been a lefty using right-handed clubs. If that’s true, it’s impressive. I can’t even write my name legibly with my left hand, let alone hit a golf ball the opposite way.

We are good with the max score rule because no one has ever won a skin with a partner having a triple. In fact, it would be an almost impossibility. In order to win a hole, the combined score of the high-low partners has to be even par. So, if someone had a max, the partner would need to have a -3 on a hole to even qualify. For example, if one person had a triple on the par 4 first hole, the other person would need to get a hole-in-one to make them eligible for the win.

Last night, five skins were won. Not surprisingly, no one had a max on their winning hole. Winners included Robin Kimpinski/Dave Gill ($137.51 on #1), Ryden Lanouette/Joe Shwaluk ($67.50 on #2), Matthew Ostash/Orin McKay ($26.25 on #5), Barry Nychuk/Nathan Nowasad ($126.26 on #6), and Scott Maynes/Chris Hogg ($42.50 on #9). 

The prizes on the first and last hole are among the highest single hole payouts we have had. It’s not often a single skin pays out more than $100, and it happened twice last night.

Having mentioned Robin, I should also note that he was closest to the pin on #9. Austin Hunter was closest on #5.

The max has become such a staple of Men’s Night lingo that even when a player earns their triple the old-fashioned way, by just batting their original ball around three too many times, they proudly declare, “That’s a real seven.”

Often when we play somewhere else, the rule usually comes into play. The two things that are often said at other courses prior to teeing off are “Let’s play from the white” and “Men’s Night maxes”. 

It appears the max in golf is somewhat universal. Jason and Neufeld and I played Minnedosa on Monday and got paired up with two guys from Shilo. They were good golfers. However, when one of them mentioned their score to their partner, they said "I'll take the triple max".

Of the 42 players out last night, around 30 recorded at least one max. For the 10 brave souls who shot over 50, the maxes were plentiful.

There were three scores under 40 last night. Congrats to Reegan Kominko and Matthew Ostash who had 36’s and Ryden Lanouette who had a 39. Usually, it isn't easy to go under 40 with a max. But when you do, it makes it even better. You get to say things like, “I had a 37 and that included a max on seven”.

And while triple bogeys may not win you prizes, they may provide you with a moment of quiet reflection as you pick up the ball and ride out the remainder of the hole. Think of the par-5 fourth. That hole has caused more emotional trauma than dial-up internet. Hitting max early on there means you get to cruise down the fairway, guilt-free, while watching your buddies finish the hole. You’re the group’s designated cheerleader at that point, and hey, that’s important too.

And when you think about it, a triple bogey max doesn’t even sound so bad when compared to the Horse Race qualifier, where you can rack up four over par on a single hole. Now that’s golf's version of cruel and unusual punishment.

Of course, our friendly max system even mirrors real golf rules to a certain extent. Under the World Handicap System, the maximum score you can post for handicap purposes is Net Double Bogey. That is par + 2 + any strokes you’re entitled to. So, if you're playing a par 4 and get a stroke, your max is 7. It keeps handicaps realistic and prevents blow-up holes from artificially inflating your index.

So next time you hit a max, take comfort…you are part of a proud Men’s Night tradition. A tradition that says, “Hey, we’re here to play golf, but not for that long.”